


Blended Family

by kikide (SouthernWriter)



Series: Blended Family [1]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Bay Movies), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Depression, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Recovery, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-07 15:55:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 42,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26950252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SouthernWriter/pseuds/kikide
Summary: A depressed and emotionally abused Leo finds a new, happier home with a new set of brothers.  But what happens when his two families are thrown together?
Series: Blended Family [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1966627
Comments: 18
Kudos: 63





	1. Useless

**Author's Note:**

> This was the very first fan fiction I ever posted, so the writing is a little rough. I will try and edit the chapters as I post them, but keep in mind this was written 13 years ago. Some of you may recognize the story from FF.net. Please be aware that this first chapter does depict an attempt at suicide. Please skip if this is a trigger for you. Starting in chapter 2 will give you all the information you need to understand the rest of the story.

_“Useless!” “Failure!” “Disgrace!”_

The words continually burned themselves deeper and deeper in Leonardo’s mind, at times with almost enough fervor to drive him to his knees. Pushing the punishing thoughts away, Leo continued to work quickly, though methodically, to finish his task. It wouldn’t do for any of his family to walk in on him just yet, and after tonight’s debacle, another failure wasn’t an option.

As Leo continued to make his preparations, he cast his mind back over the past, back-tracing the events that had led to tonight’s activities. Ever since they were just younglings, Leonardo had always been protective of his younger brothers; whether it was the monsters of Mikey’s dreams, or the real life monsters he and his brothers had faced, Leo had always tried to place himself between his family and that which would hurt them. To that extent, he had always pushed himself harder and further in his ninja training. For a long time, it seemed to work; okay, so his brothers weren’t always happy with his decisions, but they still seemed to accept his as their leader.

Over the past several years, however, that reluctant acceptance seemed to have turned into resentment. More and more the others, Raph in particular, had become bitter towards him and the extra work he did to try and keep his family safe. And then had come the mistake a year ago that had nearly cost his family their lives, and Leonardo had been stripped of his role as leader. At first, it had been a relief, like a weight off his shoulders, especially as Raph proved to be a completely competent leader. It seemed that the mantle of responsibility had managed what none of Leo’s or Master Splinter’s lectures had been able to do: curb Raphael’s wild streak. Still, without the role of leader to define him, Leo was at a loss as to what his place in the family was.

Feeling slightly off kilter, Leo had continued to train harder than any of his brothers, but it seemed the more he trained, the more they railed against him. Raph in particular seemed to enjoy rubbing Leo’s nose in his failure, though Donny and Mikey were not above reminding him of his uselessness to the team. Sure, his two youngest brothers said they were only joking, but from the repetition of the topic, Leo was certain there was a kernel of truth in their words. After all, Raph was right; he was a failure, so who was to say he wasn’t useless as well. Leo gently fingered the wound on his shoulder; that was living proof he was of no use to his brothers anymore.

And then had come _that_ night’s mess. The brothers had been out on a routine patrol when they had run into a pack of Foot ninjas. Things had been going well, until Shredder had shown up. Leo had been holding off three of the Foot, when he had spotted Shredder sneaking up on Mikey, claws ready to rip into the unsuspecting turtle. Leo, of course, had moved to intercede; however, hampered as he was by his wounded shoulder and the exhaustion of an extended fight with the Foot ninjas, the oldest turtle was more than little clumsy in his execution. True, he was able to stop Shredder from harming his youngest brother, but was able to do nothing to prevent himself from sending his katana directly into his brother’s leg.

From the point on, the rest of the evening had become of blur to Leonardo. He had no memory of how he and his brothers had gotten away from Shredder and his goons, or even of the return trip home. The last clear memory he had was of being dismissed from his father’s presence, the words “a disgrace to his training and family” hanging in the air, though he wasn’t entirely sure who had uttered the words. After that he had retreated to his room. For a long while, Leo had been unsure what to do with himself. As much as he longed to go check on Mikey, he knew his presence would not be welcomed in the infirmary. In fact, Leo had a sneaking suspicion that even hidden away in his room was too close for the rest of the family.

At last, heartsick and depressed, Leo made his decision. Since his presence was causing nothing but trouble for his family, he would remove himself, permanently. At least then the stain of his disgrace would be wiped away, and his family would be able to move on, free at last. At first, Leo had considered throwing himself on his sword, but he couldn’t bring himself to taint his beloved blade with his disgraced blood. That was when he had settled on his current plan.


	2. Choice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I'm just reposting this, here the the second chapter. Not sure when I'll get the rest of it up, but I'll try to do it this week. Especially since there are four other stories in this series to edit and upload.

Awareness slowly returned to Leo. When it did, he was more than slightly puzzled. He had never imagined that the afterlife, if there was such a thing, would look like…a sewer tunnel? He especially didn’t think he’d still have the broken noose around his neck if he had somehow made it to the afterlife. _Something’s a little twisted here,_ Leo couldn’t help thinking to himself. That’s when he saw her, it, whatever.

The shape was vaguely feminine, but that was all Leo could make out. Otherwise, the figure rather looked like a large, white/blue glowing octopus. Looking at her, Leo said the first thing that came to mind.

“Are you God?”

The Figure laughed, at once sounding like tinkling bells and tumbling rocks.

“No, young one,” she said, her voice carrying that same mixed tone. “I am not the Deity of your planet. In fact, I am not even from your specific dimension. I am a Bridger.”

“A what,” Leo asked.

“I create links between dimensions,” the Bridger explained. “When two separate dimensions resonate with each other, I make the necessary connections so that the complementary elements can come together. Take you, for example.”

“Me?” Leo was startled.

“Yes. You desperately wanted away from your old life where you felt unloved and unwanted. It just so happens that there is a dimension where you are exactly what is needed.”

“I don’t understand,” Leo said, feeling a little lost and lot confused.

“In this dimension, you no longer exist; the Leonardo here died two years ago. However, his absence has created an instability that is threatening this place’s future, as your, or rather his, remaining brothers are slowly being destroyed by their grief. Your desire for a family that would provide the love you have been missing resonated so strongly with the grief these versions of your brothers, that I could not help but be drawn to it.”

“So, what happens now,” Leo asked.

“That’s up to you,” the Bridger said. “You can either choose to return to your own dimension, where you would most certainly be dead, or you can choose to remain here, and attempt to make a new start.”

Leo was uncertain as to what to say.

“How long do I have to decide,” he asked.

“Take all the time you need,” the Bridger told him. “We are between dimensions now; a place separate from time.”

Taking her at her word, Leo sat down to consider the options placed before him. On the one hand, there was nothing for him back where he had come from. Even if he did return there, he would only be going to his death. On the other hand, Leo wasn’t sure he could trust himself to the care of his brothers again, even if they weren’t the brothers who had hurt him so badly. But, if what the Bridger said was true, it seemed these versions of his brothers might be just as badly wounded as he was. Unsurprisingly, Leo found himself wanting to ease their pain. Sure, he wasn’t their Leonardo, but that didn’t stop the protector and big brother in him from coming out. His decision made, Leo turned to the Bridger.

“I’ve made my choice,” he declared. “I’ll stay in this new dimension.”

“Very well,” the Bridger stated. “There is just one thing I must require of you: tell no one of me if at all possible. There may come a time when you will have no choice, but I will leave that to your discretion. I will leave the decision about whether to or not to reveal your true origins to your new family up to you. It might be best if you do not reveal you are not from this place. Draw on your past as necessary, but it could sabotage your efforts to make a new start here if your brothers were to realize you are not the brother they think you are.”

“Anything else?”

The Bridger smiled gently.

“No, that should be all. Now, just sit down and close your eyes; your brothers will be here soon.” And with that, she was gone. Following her orders, Leo sat down and closed his eyes, and soon he was asleep.


	3. A Return

A sad sense of nostalgia came over Raph as he listened to the chatter of his two younger brothers following behind him. If he closed his eyes and pretended hard enough, he could almost convince himself things were the way they used to be, and the brothers were merely returning from an evening topside. It almost worked, but not quite. No matter how hard he pretended, Raph was unable to forget their beloved father was dead, and their older brother was two years missing.

The truth of the matter was the nights like these were few and far between. Missing their sensei, and without Leo there to bind them together, the three remaining brothers were close to falling apart. Raph had done the best he could, but he was willing to admit he did not have Leo’s touch for leadership. Nowadays, about the only time the brothers spent together was during their weekly outings to scavenge.

Raph was so caught up in his thoughts he did not see the figure lying on the floor until he tripped over it. Only his ingrained reflexes, honed by years of training, kept him from falling flat on his face.

“What the shell,” he grumbled as he picked himself up. 

“Raph, you okay,” Donatello asked as he hurried to his brother’s assistance.

“Yeah, fine,” Raph said, dusting himself off. “What did I trip over?”

“More like ‘who,’ dudes,” Mikey said from behind them, his tone stunned.

“What are you talking about,” Raph growled as he turned to face his youngest brother.

“Bro, you tripped over Leo,” Mikey said.

“What,” the two older turtles exclaimed in unison. They both rushed to where Mikey was kneeling. Sure enough, there was Leo, sprawled unconscious against the wall.

“Is he…”Mikey started to ask, but he could not finish the thought, uncertain whether he really wanted to know the answer.

Donatello reached to feel for the pulse at Leo’s throat, only to have his touch hindered by the rope digging sharply into his brother’s flesh. Immediately he tried to loosen the rope, but it wouldn’t budge. Biting back a curse, Donny shrugged out of his pack and began digging through it.

“Donny, what’s going on,” Raph demanded as his younger brother triumphantly pulled his pocketknife from the bag.

“He’s got some sort of noose tied around his neck,” Donny explained as he carefully inserted the blade between the rope and Leo’s throat. “It won’t loosen, so…” Donny gave a sharp tug on the knife, and the well-honed blade cut easily through the fibers of the rope. Dropping the knife, Donny placed a hand against his brother’s neck.

“Well,” Mikey asked, growing concerned when his next older brother didn’t say anything.

“I’ve found a pulse,” Donny exclaimed, causing his brothers to relax, slightly.

“Is he going to be okay,” Mikey asked, still not quite ready to believe Leo wasn’t going to disappear once more.

“He should be,” Donny assured him. “His throat will be sore and swollen for a couple of days, and I’ll need to examine him to make sure he doesn’t have any other injuries. Barring anything I can’t see, he should be okay.”

“All right, then,” Raph said, taking charge since, aware Donatello’s focus would now be on Leo and that Mikey would only make a pest of himself if not given a task to do. “Donny, give Mikey your stuff, and you go on ahead to make sure the infirmary is ready to go. Mikey, get the supplies put away and get some soup or something easy to swallow on the stove. Leo’s going to need food in order to get better, but until his throat heals it will have to be soft foods for a while. I’ll get Leo and meet you both back at the Lair.”

For a moment, Mikey looked like he was going to protest, but a quick look from Donny had him complying quietly instead. With his brothers on their way, Raph turned back to Leo. Although he knew their youngest sibling was loathe to let Leo out of his sight now that he had miraculously returned, Raph knew he was the best choice for getting their eldest brother home. While not the tallest of the brothers, Raph was by far the strongest.

Kneeling next the unconscious Leo, Raph eased an arm under his shoulders and knees. As he easily gained his feet, Raph was aghast at how much weight Leo had lost. While always leaner than his brothers, Leo _had_ been solid muscle; that’s what you got when you spent two thirds of the days practicing and exercising. Now, though, Leo felt like nothing more than skin and bones. Although he couldn’t see well in the dim light of the sewer, Raph suspected Leo would look as bad as his lighter weight suggested. Wherever Leo had come from, it hadn’t been kind to him.

It didn’t take long for Raph to reach the Lair. Without pause, he moved straight to the infirmary, where Donny was waiting for him.

“Put him on the examining table,” Donny instructed his brother. “I want a better look at his throat, and I need to figure out what’s causing the fever.”

It was only as he was following his brother’s instructions that it struck Raph that Donny was right; Leo was covered in a cold, clammy sweat that usually indicated a fever. Stepping back out of the way, Raph let Donny move in next his patient.

With a gentle hand, Donny tipped his brother’s head back, letting the light shine on the rope burn around Leo’s neck. Keeping his touch light, Donny carefully examined his brother’s throat. To his relief, he felt nothing odd that might suggest a crushed trachea. That done, he tenderly bathed the bruised and broken skin with a cold cloth, before applying an antibiotic ointment and loosely bandaging the wound. Next, Donny began a more extensive examination of his brother. A closer look revealed no broken bones in any of his brother’s limbs, though there were a number of bruises evident. Donny was about to admit defeat, when he discovered the wound Leonardo’s shoulder, hidden beneath the edge of his shell. Donatello let out a soft curse as he got a good look at the infected cut.

“Donny, what is it,” Raph asked.

“He has a cut on his shoulder, hidden under his shell,” Donny said as he began to clean the wound. “It looks like Leo, or someone, has been trying to treat it, but it’s gotten infected; that’s what’s causing the fever.”

“Is he going to be okay,” Mikey asked from the door; neither brother had heard him come into the room.

“Yeah, he’ll be okay,” Donny reassured him. “I just need to clean the cut up and give him a dose of antibiotics. A couple days of close care, and he’ll be just fine.”

Mind at ease, Mikey said, “Good, then while you’re doing that, I’ll fetch the blankets and the cots.”

“The cots? Why,” Raph asked.

“I don’t know about you, but I don’t plan on letting Leo out of my sight for a while,” Mikey explained. “I figure it will just be easier on all of us if we just bunk down here.” He then turned and trotted out of the room. Donny and Raph exchanged looks, and then Raph just shrugged and got up to help his youngest brother gather the necessary materials. 


	4. Awakening

Leo experienced an odd sense of disorientation when he finally awoke. Although the room he was in was definitely the infirmary, there was something about it that just seemed out of tune. Leo wasn’t sure if it was the colors or the lighting, but whatever it was, it just didn’t feel right. Suddenly, Leo remembered he wasn’t technically home anymore, and the room felt alien because, in a sense, it was.

Curiosity peaked, Leo began to slowly scan the room from where he lay, only to become aware of a gentle pressure against his side. Looking down, he was surprised to find one of his brothers seated next to the bed, head pillowed on the mattress next to Leo’s hip, sound asleep. At first, Leo wasn’t sure which of the brothers it was, for rather than the colored mask Leo was accustomed to seeing, this turtle was wearing a mask made of soft brown leather. It was only as he began the notice the red accents on the other turtle’s equipment that Leo finally figured out this must be Raph.

Leo was stunned, to say the least. He could not remember the last time his Raphael had fallen asleep at his bedside while Leo was recovering from a wound. Shell, he couldn’t remember the last time any of his younger brothers had kept watch over him. Sure, they did it for each other, but as _persona non grata_ in his family, Leo was usually left to recover on his own. That this the incarnation of his immediate younger brother was here with him left Leo speechless. A soft snoring drew Leo’s attention away from the sleeping Raphael, to the other two turtles sound asleep on cots clustered as near the bed as they could get in the small space. This time, Leo couldn’t keep the tears from his eyes.

Leo’s attention was drawn back to Raph as his younger brother began to stir. The red-accented turtle sat up and rubbed his eyes before meeting Leo’s gaze. Raph’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Leo,” he said quietly, as if he couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing. Lifting a shaking hand, he reached to touch the older turtle’s face, but now ingrained reactions had Leo wincing away from the touch. Raphael’s eyes dimmed with remorse. “Who, hey, easy bro,” he said softly. “I ain’t gonna hurt you.”

Leo opened his mouth to say something, but Raph placed a gentle finger over his lips.

“Shh,” he told Leo. “Your throat is all swollen up, and Donny says you’re not supposed to talk for a couple of days until the swelling goes down.”

“Who’re you talkin’ to, bro,” Mikey asked, voice groggy, coming to Raph’s side.

“Leo’s awake,” Raph explained, still too shocked at having his big brother back to make fun of his youngest brother for missing the obvious.

“What,” Mikey exclaimed, pushing Raph out of the way to see for himself. “Leo,” he cried out, and without preamble he threw himself at the oldest turtle, wrapping his arms around Leo’s chest and hanging on as if he was never going to let go. Fortunately for Leo, Donatello was awakened by Mikey’s zestful exclamation.

“Whoa, there little bro,” he cautioned, “You need to let Leo go. Between that shoulder wound and his throat, he’s probably not up to your enthusiasm just yet. Besides, right now I need to give Leo a check up, so why don’t you go get something ready for breakfast; something soft and easy to swallow.”

“But—“

“He’s not going anywhere, Mikey,” Donny reassured him. “He’ll still be here when you get back. And don’t worry; I’m kicking Raph out too.”

“Come on, Mikey,” Raph said, drawing his youngest brother out of the room. “Let Donny do his thing, and we’ll come back and visit Leo in a bit. And anyway, Leo really does need something to eat; he’s just skin and bones.”

“Okay,” Mikey said a little forlornly as he followed Raph out of the infirmary, though he did give Leo one last, almost mournful look.

Feeling more than slightly shocked, Leo gave Donny an astonished look.

“Mikey’s really missed you,” Don told him. “We all have.”

Leo gave a look at where Raph and Mikey had disappeared out the door, then turned a raised eyebrow at his brother. Donatello gave a small laugh.

“Yes, even Raph, despite your rather tempestuous relationship,” he said, proving that there were at least some similarities between this dimension and the one Leo had come from. “Now, lie still, and let me take a look at your throat and your shoulder,” Don ordered.

Even though it was a bit painful when Don cleaned and changed the bandages at his throat and shoulder, Leo couldn’t help enjoying the experience of having a brother take care of him. Leo had long ago become touch deprived, as his own brothers had withdrawn from him and those oh, so important moments of physical contact most humanoids need to survive had been denied him. The small moments he had already experienced with his new family had been like water for a dying turtle.

“There, all done,” Donny said as he attached the last bandage in place, and Leo was almost disappointed that the exam was done, for he was going to lose that much missed physical contact. To his pleasant surprise, instead of removing his hand, Donny took Leo’s hand in his own. Startled, he turned a questioning look on his younger brother. Donny gave him a small smile.

“Guess I’m not so different from Mikey after all,” Donatello said with a slightly self-deprecating tone. “Although I know you’re not just going to disappear off the bed in front of me, it’s like I can’t convince myself that you’re not going to disappear if I let go. I…I hope you don’t mind.”

Leo’s gaze softened as he looked at Don, and the gently squeezed his brother’s hand. Of course, the mood was shattered moments later by Mikey’s exuberant return.

“Okay, I wasn’t sure what Leo would be able to eat, so I made him an egg, sunny side up, with the yolks still soft; or , if that doesn’t work, there is also a strawberry smoothie he can also try. I made to get all the lump out,” Mikey said, bringing a tray into the room.

“Good work, Mikey,” Donny praised. He helped Leo sit up and placed several pillows behind him to support his back, and then moved out of the way so that Mikey could arranged the tray in Leo’s lap. With his youngest brother gazing hopefully at him, Leo tentatively raised a bite of egg to his mouth. He wasn’t sure how the egg, soft as it was, would go down, but he couldn’t disappoint Mikey by not even trying it. To his surprise, he was able to swallow the soft egg with minimal discomfort. Likewise, the extra creamy smoothie went down without a problem. In no time at all, Leo had finished all the egg, and about a quarter of the fruit drink. Feeling full, he pushed the tray away.

Mikey gave him a slightly disapproving look. “That’s all you’re going to eat,” he asked.

The censure in his brother’s voice had Leo’s old, familiar demons raising their heads, but Donny’s rebuttal helped lay some of them to rest.

“Leo looks like he hasn’t eaten well in a long time, Mikey,” Donny said. “His capacity for food has probably shrunk, and you don’t want to make him sick by forcing him to eat too much. For right now, that’s enough. We’ll try some more in a little while. Hopefully over the next several days we’ll be able to build his capacity back up to where it’s supposed to be.”

His enthusiasm rekindled, Mikey beamed at his brothers. “All right,” he exclaimed. “Next time I’ll make a peach smoothie, and maybe some cottage cheese or some yogurt. Oh, or maybe…”

“Sounds good, Mikey,” Donny interrupted. “Now, why don’t you stay here and keep and eye on Leo for a bit. He’ll probably go back to sleep shortly, but I need to get myself something to eat, and I want to check on Raph.”

“All righty,” Mikey said. “I’d be happy to stay with Leo. Oh, and Raph’s fixing up Leo’s room for him; you know, changing the sheets and everything. He said Leo would probably be ready to sleep in his own bed tonight, so he wanted everything ready for him.”

“Sounds good,” Donny said. “In that case, you’re in charge here. Don’t let Leo say anything, because we don’t want him hurting his throat anymore. But Mikey, keep it toned down, okay? It’s going to take Leo a while to be up to dealing with you at full speed.”

With a last look to make sure his younger brother was actually listening, Donny turned and left the infirmary. Mikey, turning back to face his oldest brother was disappointed, however, to see that Leo had gone back to sleep just as Donny had warned he might.

‘Oh, well,’ the youngest turtle thought. ‘Leo’s back for good, so we’ll have plenty of time to catch up later.’ And with that, he settled in the read the comic book he’d brought along, just in case.


	5. A Brother's Touch

Leo used the next several days as he healed as a chance to unobtrusively get to know his new set of brothers. With his voice out of commission, and with his wounded right shoulder making it all but impossible for him to write, Leo was saved from answering any uncomfortable questions while familiarizing himself with his new family. In many ways, they reminded him of his brothers from several years past; less world weary and battle hardened, and much more affectionate with each other. To Leo’s shock, he discovered that in this dimension, his brothers were only 16 years old, compared to his age of 17. For once, he really was the big brother.

As Leo was able to do more for himself, he began to unintentionally pull away from his new brothers. Unconsciously, he started preparing himself for when his brothers would turn on him. Without realizing it, Leo flinched away from his brothers’ touches, refused to meet their eyes, and he carried himself slightly tensed up, as if expecting a blow at any moment. The behavior did not go unnoticed by the others.

“I wish I could get my hands on the bastards responsible for this,” Raph growled to his younger brothers one night as they sat around the kitchen table, sharing a pot of coffee; Leo had already gone to bed when the discussion turned to his disturbing behavior.

“I know what you mean,” Donny agreed. “It was bad enough seeing that noose around his neck and finding that untended shoulder wound. But this beaten dog behavior, well that takes a while to become this ingrained. It suggests that Leo was facing some serious verbal and emotional, if not physical abuse, over a long period of time.”

“So what do we do now,” Mikey asked.

“We’ll have to start by regaining Leo’s trust,” Donny said. “Prove to him he can count on us not to hurt him, physically or emotionally. That’s going time, and a lot of patience.” This was said with a stern look in Raph’s direction, but rather than blow up, Raph just nodded his head. He knew his usual attitude and responses would only make this situation worse.

“We’ll do whatever it takes,” he told Donny. Raph was determined to get his big brother back, to regain the best friend he had lost so long ago.

“Here’s to us, dudes,” Mikey said, raising his mug in salute. “And to Leo, ‘cause we’re gonna get him back.”

* * *

Mikey began his part of what he and the others were calling “Operation Trust” immediately the next day. Being the most empathic and physically affectionate of the brothers, he took it upon himself to re-teach Leo that not all touches were scary or painful. He started slowly with small, deliberate touches as he helped his older brother recover from his injuries. A hand on Leo’s elbow to steady him when he overbalanced due to his arm in a sling, or a soft pat on his shell as he passed him between rooms were all the beginning of Mikey’s plan to help Leo get accustomed to being touched again.

At first, Leo flinched every time Mikey got too close, but that didn’t stop the youngest turtle. Instead, he just made sure he was very deliberate in his motions, making sure Leo saw him move before touching him. Slowly, Leo stopped jumping at every little casual and incidental contact from his brothers. That’s when Mikey stepped the program up. It wasn’t enough for him that Leo simply endured being touched, he wanted his brother to find the comfort and enjoyment that could come from physical contact.

Mikey finally go this chance to put the next stage of his plan into play as Leo began the slow exercises Donny okayed that would return strength and mobility to his arm. Although the stretches and simple katas Leo was allowed to perform were not strenuous, they nonetheless caused his long unused arm to ache. After two days of watching his brother suffer with a stiff arm, Mikey decided it was the perfect time to approach his brother for a new lesson in safe physical interaction.

“Hey, bro, how’s it going,” Mikey asked one evening, about two and a half weeks after Leo’s awakening in the Lair.

Leo gave his brother a surprised look, like he couldn’t quite believe Mikey was actually speaking to him, before he said, “It’s going well enough, I guess. It’s nice to have my arm out of that sling.”

That was the perfect intro for Mikey to ask, “So how’s the shoulder feeling?”

Leo shrugged, or at least tried to; it was obvious his shoulder was paining him Shaking his head at his brother’s stubborn streak, Mikey finally asked, “Would you like me to rubbed that for you? It will help it loosen up and feel better.”

Leo was about to decline when Donny spoke up from the couch where he was reading a science magazine.

“I wouldn’t pass on that,” he told Leo. “Mikey gives the best massages, and he doesn’t offer very often. He has a hard time sitting still long enough.”

Feeling uncertain, but not wanting to offend his brother, Leo finally agreed. He was very tense as he allowed Mikey to settle him on a chair in front of him. Drawing on all he’d learned about how to deal with his brother’s jumpiness, Mikey very slowly placed his hands on top of Leo’s shoulder, making sure his brother was aware of each move as he made it. At first, the pressure was very slight, letting Leo know he was free to break away at any moment. As the minutes passed, however, the pressure Mikey was asserting on his shoulder began to increase as Leo relaxed and allowed the massage to work the stiffness out of his shoulder. By the time Mikey was done, Leo was nearly asleep in the chair, completely at ease under his brother’s hands. Mikey smiled at the sight, pleased to see this first try at focused contact was a success.

Of course, Leo didn’t become acclimated to being touched over night. It still took some coaxing to convince him to let Mike rub his stiff shoulder every few nights, when the discomfort became too much. It wasn’t until nearly a week and a half later that the first breakthrough occurred. Leo had just finished his exercises for the night while Donny, Mikey, and Raph were having a small snack in the kitchen, when Leo emerged from the dojo and approached Mikey. Eyes firmly downcast, Leo said, ever so softly, “Mikey, would…would you mid rubbing my shoulder for me? It feels a little stiffer than usual.”

Mikey and the others wanted to turn flips, they were so excited at this newest development. For so long, Leo had acted like he was indulging _them_ when he allowed Mikey to massage his shoulder. This time, though, Leo was asking strictly for himself. The brothers were ecstatic. From then on, it became more and more common for Leo to reach out to the others, at least to Donny and Mikey. Slowly, teasing swats and affectionate hugs began to take the place of timid and fearful winces and avoidance. After giving the new mode of behavior several weeks to settle into place, it became Donny’s turn to handle the next step in Leo’s rehabilitation.


	6. Brother Talk

With the success of Mikey’s part of Leo’s rehabilitation, it soon became time for Donatello to take over. While Michelangelo had effectively helped Leo learn that he could trust his brothers not to hurt him physically, Donny had set the task for himself to teach his brother they could be trusted with his emotions. He had observed over the past several weeks that in addition to flinching away from physical contact, Leo tended to be very sensitive to any sort of criticism. Unlike Raph, though, who exploded angrily and go on the attack when criticized, Leo would curl in on himself and apologize profusely. Even worse, however, was the way Leo refused to share his own emotions. When pushed to describe how he was feeling, Leo would give a vague answer, or find some way to turn the conversation away from himself. Both reactions made Donny very irate with whoever had taught his brother to put aside his own feelings. Donny knew Leo would never completely recover if he couldn’t overcome this debilitating sense of worthlessness.

Donny’s plan started out very simply: provide as much positive reinforcement and feedback for his oldest brother as he could. At first, it was small things, like thanking Leo whenever the oldest turtle did something to help out. It broke Donny’s heart to see how Leo, after a few days of suspicion, soaked up the simple praise. No matter how often Donny, Mikey, or even Raph would express their gratitude, even for something as small as passing the remote, Leo would act like he had been handed a great treasure.

Leo slowly become comfortable accepting his brothers’ gratitude. In the process of rehabilitating his brother, Donny had come to recognize two things he never had before. First was just how much Leo did for each of them. Even wounded and in need of care himself, Leo still found ways to take care of his younger brothers. From trying to make sure Donny didn’t stay up too late, to listening to Mikey ramble on and on when no one else would, Leo was simple _there_ for his brothers. This, however, led to the second trait Donny had noticed about his brother: Leo did very little to look after himself. In fact, Leo rarely if ever did anything just for himself. It made Donny realize just how often Leo pushed aside his own likes and desires to fulfill his brother’s needs. Leo acted almost as though he wasn’t supposed to want anything beyond his brothers’ happiness. This being the case, it was no wonder Leo was so vulnerable to criticism, and that he worked so hard to be “perfect,” even when he was sick.

At first, Donny was unsure what to do to correct the self-destructive behavior. If they told Leo they didn’t need him to look after them, it would wound him terribly in a way Donny wasn’t sure could be healed. On the other hand, Donny knew they couldn’t let Leo continue to live his life dependent on his brothers’ wants and whims. But how to approach Leo? Fortunately, the perfect opportunity soon presented itself.

Leo had been home for about a month, and Donny had finally cleared him to begin light sparring with his brothers to rebuild the strength in his wounded shoulder. On this particular night Leo had gone up against Raph. After a month-long recuperation, however, Leo wasn’t up to his usual standard, and as a result had made a number of small errors that resulted in Raph winning their match. Raph, being who he was, had made a couple of small, harmless, teasing remarks about his brother’s skill. Although the comments had been made with no malicious intent, it was quite apparent from the crushed look on Leo’s face that the oldest turtle had taken them too much to heart. Raph was at a loss; he hadn’t meant to hurt his brother. When he went to approach Leo, though, Donny waved him off. Motioning for Raph to take Mikey with him, Donny waited until the dojo was empty of everyone but he and Leo. Under the pretext of cleaning up after practice, and keeping his tone casual, Donny said,

“That Raph sure knows how to put his foot in it, doesn’t he?”

“But he was right,” Leo replied, his voice full of self-disgust. “I was fighting no better than a hatchling tonight.”

Donny snorted softly. “Leo, you are recovering from a major wound,” he said. “No one expects you to be on top of your game immediately.”

“Apparently Raph does,” Leo retorted.

“No, that was Raph thinking with his shell and not his brain,” Donny said. “Crude as it was, that was our brother’s way of trying to reassure you. He was trying to make you laugh; if you’ll remember, he was making similar comments about Mikey’s fighting skills, too.”

“No offense, Donny, but I don’t think you get it. I’m the ‘leader.’ I can’t afford to be off or weak,” Leo replied. “For as long as I can remember I was always expected to be in peak form, no matter what.”

“Ah, big bro,” Donny sighed, coming to Leo’s side. “Have we ever thanked you for everything you do for us?”

“What…”Leo started, but Donny cut him off.

“Until recently, I hadn’t realized how much of yourself you give us,” Donny continued. “All it seems we do is take from you. What do we give back, except sarcasm and grief?”

“No, it’s not like that,” Leo protested. “I enjoy looking after my family. I mean, that’s all I have to offer.”

It was Donny’s turn to be stunned. “What do you mean that’s all you have to offer,” he asked.

Leo gave a small shrug. “Just look at the rest of you. Mikey, for all that he’s the youngest, is the heart of the family. He is so giving and loving, it just pours off of him onto everyone around him. You can’t deny he’s he one who provides the energy for the family. And then there’s Raph, the strength of the family. Yes, he’s stubborn and hot-headed, but he’s the one who is willing to do whatever is necessary for the family, even when the necessary isn’t easy. And then there’s you; the brain of the family. Shell, Donny, you’re smarter than the rest of us combined. I can’t remember all of the times you’ve pulled us out of one jam or another by your ability to outthink the problem.”

“So where does that leave you,” Donny asked quietly.

“Me,” Leo asked, startled that Donny had to ask. “I’m family’s sword and shield. It’s my job to constantly train and hone my skills so that I can protect the family. I have to stay sharp so that the rest of you can live your lives, free to be who and what you were meant to be.”

“Oh, Leo,” Donny said, his voice thick with tears. “You’re not a weapon; you’re the soul of the family. A weapon is a tool, something that has only one purpose, and is put aside when it is not needed. Despite what you think, your sole purpose is not to simply come into use whenever we need protecting. You are the force that binds us together.”

“But—“ Leo started to protest, but Donny wouldn’t let him.

“No, just listen. I don’t know how you came to see yourself as a mere instrument for the family, but that is not how we see you. To us, you are an integral part of our existence. Those two years you were missing? We were not whole. I can speak for Raph and Mikey when I say there was a Leo shaped hole in my heart that no one else could possibly fill. You said that I’m the brain of the family? Well, I couldn’t think my way out of those dangerous situations without knowing that you were there to support me and give me the time I needed to think up a solution; you believe in me. You provide the security Mikey needs so desperately. He can only be as carefree as he is because he knows you will be there for him, no matter what. And Raph? Well, if Raph is the strength of the family, you are Raph’s strength. He only lets loose like he does because he knows you would never let him go too far, and like Mikey, he knows you will always be there for him. And on top of what you do for us individually, you keep us tied together as a family. You keep Mikey from irritating Raph and me too much. You prevent Raph from killing Mikey when the brat goes too far. And you help me remember there is more to life than my research, while at the same time you make Raph and Mikey see that what I do is as essential to me as their hobbies and interests.”

“But, I’m useless…a failure,” Leo dissented, though his voice was softer, less certain. The hurt and confusion in his brother’s tone finally made the tears flow down Donny’s face.

“I don’t know who told you that big brother, but they were lying,” Donny said. “You are anything but useless, and you certainly aren’t a failure. Yes, sometimes you make mistakes, but so do all of us. I can’t think of anyone I would rather have, not just at the head of our team, but as my big brother.”

Suddenly Donny found himself with an armful of Leo, his oldest brother sobbing into his neck. Without hesitation, Donny hugged his brother tighter, one hand rubbing soothing circles on his brother’s shell. “Go ahead and cry it out,” he encouraged Leo. “I’m here for you. I know it’s going to take a while, but eventually you’ll see just how much we appreciate and need you for you.”


	7. Raph's Tantrum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is very dialogue heavy. There is also a discussion of emotional abuse, and attempted suicide. Please take care of these topics disturb you.

It had been over three months since the night Raph and his younger brothers had found Leo unconscious in the sewer, and Raph’s relationship with his older brother was no better than it had been that morning Leo had awoken and flinched away from his brother’s touch. Oh, Leo’s relationship with Mikey and Donny was well on the mend. This newer Leo was much more lighthearted than the old one, but only with his two youngest siblings. When it came to Raph, however, Leo still had that hunted, self-defensive attitude; Raphael was about to get sick of it. So, Raph being Raph, he decided to do tackle the issue head-on.

With a quiet word to Donny and Mikey, Raph was able to arrange an entire evening alone with just him and Leo. After waiting for Leo to start his evening workout, the two youngest brothers quickly made their escape. By the time Leo was done for the evening, Donny and Mikey were safely away from the Lair. Leo’s first question upon exiting the dojo was the location of the two missing turtles.

“They stepped out for the evening,” Raph told him, setting aside the newspaper he’d been pretending to read. “It’s just going to be you and me tonight.” Raph couldn’t miss the flinch his brother gave at hearing that news, and with it, all plans for a nice, calm discussion went out the manhole.

“All right, Leo, I have had about enough of this crap,” Raph said, or rather, shouted. “For three months, three months you hear me, you have been avoiding me. You don’t look at me, you cringe every time I speak to you, you keep your distance so that I won’t accidentally touch you, and you watch me like you expect me to start using you as a replacement for my punching bag at any moment. What the shell did your version of me do to you wherever the shell you came from that could make you this afraid of me?”

Immediately, Raph regretted his angry tone, for Leo had literally tucked himself against the couch and curled in on himself as soon as Raph started yelling. Regret and guilt blooming inside him, causing his accent to thicken, Raph said, “I’m so sorry, bro. I…I didn’t mean to scare ya. Ah, shell, I didn’t even mean to yell at ya. I just want m’best friend back.” This last was said in a voice so soft Leo had to strain to hear it, but the heartfelt words, along with the lessons he’d been learning from Mikey and Donny, gave him the strength and the courage he needed to uncurl himself and move next to where his brother had seated himself on the floor. Very carefully and cautiously, he reached out and placed a hand on Raph’s shoulder. When his brother didn’t shake out of the grip, Leo said,

“Be…before I begin, explain what you meant by ‘your version of me’? How did you know—“

“That you weren’t our Leo,” Raph finished the question for him. “I could tell you it’s because you have a number of scars my Leo never had, but are missing quite of few that he did. That would be a partial truth. But the real reason is, I know for a fact our Leo is dead. I found his body, or what was left of it, just about a year ago. It was right around the time Master Splinter got sick, and I couldn’t bring myself to take away from my brothers even the smallest hope that he might return, not when everything else was looking so grim. Ya see, around that same time Casey got himself killed in a stupid mugging on his way home from a date with April. April was so torn up about it, she up and moved away, too. So you see, within the space of a year, Leo had disappeared, Casey had died, April had left, and then our father had become extremely sick. I think we all knew from the beginning he wasn’t going to make it, so I couldn’t bring myself to tell the others that any hope of getting Leo back was gone, too. It would have been too much.”

“But, if you know I’m not _your_ Leo, why are you fighting so hard to gain my trust,” Leo asked, truly perplexed.

“Because when we found you in the sewer that night, it was like an answer to a prayer,” Raph said. “Leo, you don’t know how much we have needed you. After our father died, the family began to fall apart. Donny was spending more and more time in his lab. Nothing I did or said could pry him out of there. Days would pass, and we’d never see him. And then there was Mikey. Until we found you, he hadn’t smiled in over six months. He basically lost all interest in life. None of his former hobbies interested him; all he did was mope about the Lair all day. And me? Well, I was almost at the end of my rope. I think if too much more time had passed, I’d have found a way to end it. Probably would have found the biggest batch of Foot ninjas available and let them do the deed for me. You see, Leo, we need you; need you to prove that the world was still worth living in. But beyond that, bro, I need your trust, because Leonardo, whatever dimension, time, or place you may be from, you are my best friend. When my brother died, I also lost my best friend, and that nearly killed me. When I tripped over you in that sewer that night, it was like my upside-down world had suddenly righted itself.” Raph lifted his head to meet his brother’s tear-filled eyes. “I love you, big brother, and it’s ripping me apart that being here with us, with me, doesn’t provide the same comfort and security that having you here does for us.”

Leo did not fight the tears that began rolling down his face, though he did self-consciously drop his gaze away from Raph’s earnest look.

“I…I need to explain about where I came from,” he said hesitantly. “About how it was with my _other_ brothers. You see, my original brothers, the ones I grew up with are, well were, nothing like you and the Donny and Mikey I found here. I mean, while we were pretty close growing up, we quickly began to lose our bond, or at least they began to lose their bond with me. I think it started the day Master Splinter announced his decision to name me the official leader of the team. Although I had always felt responsible for looking after the others, at that point being the ‘leader,’ the responsible one, became my exclusive role in the family; a role I was never allowed to forget. If one of my brothers snuck out at night, a trait my original Raphael was infamous for, our sensei made it clear that it was my fault for not stopping him. On the other hand, when I tried to circumvent the riskier behaviors of my siblings, I was the boring stick in the mud who didn’t know how to have fun. I was constantly torn between what my brothers wanted from me and what my father expected of me; I was never allowed just to be myself, so eventually I stopped trying. It was far easier to just shrug off my own identity and simply apply myself to being the protector of my family.”

“So, you became their ‘weapon, ‘ huh,” Raph commented, recalling what Donatello had revealed to him a few weeks prior about Leo’s view of his role in the family.

“Exactly,” Leo confirmed. “For a long while, that worked. My brothers, well even if they weren’t happy with me, they at least didn’t seem to mind over much. At least, I thought they didn’t. After all, a weapon doesn’t have emotions to hurt. For some reason, though, Raph took began to resent all the training I was doing to hone my skills. At first, he would just make snide, sarcastic remarks about how ‘perfect’ I was trying to be; that I was just a suck-up. Eventually he moved to highlighting every fault I had or mistake I made. If I made a poor command choice, Raphael would be there to rub my face in it, and soon Donatello and Michelangelo were doing it too. Even worse, Master Splinter did nothing to stop it. I think a part of him silently agreed with them. It seemed the harder I tried, the worse and more often that I failed. And then came my big screw up. I don’t know if I wasn’t paying close enough attention, or if my attention was too much on my brothers, but I led them right into an ambush by the Foot. We got our shells handed to us, and then some. We were lucky to get away alive, though we were all pretty badly banged up. The very next day, Master Splinter removed me from the position as team leader, and named Raphael in my place.”

Raph couldn’t help himself; he wrapped an arm around Leo’s shoulders in response to the clear pain in his brother’s voice. Huddling closer into the offered comfort, Leo continued with his story.

“At first, it was nice having Raph be in charge for once. Being the leader seemed to calm him down some, and he really didn’t do a bad job out in the field. But it seemed he wasn’t content just to be in charge, because he kept looking for ways to belittle and humiliate me, and Mike and Don were quick to follow his lead. Mike’s practical jokes, while not truly dangerous, became painful, and Don flat out began ignoring me. In fact, that wound to my shoulder got infected because Don had ‘other things to do,’ so I had to care for it myself the best I could. Finally, I did the inexcusable, and disgraced my family.” Leo described that fateful fight with the Shredder and his father’s response in all but disowning him. “That’s when I decided to put an end to it. My family didn’t want me anymore; I didn’t want me anymore, so I was going to get rid of myself. I went in my room, tied a rope to my ceiling, and tried to hang myself. Through a trick of fate, I ended up here, and you know the rest. Surely now you understand why I can’t let you close. I’m not worth it, Raph. Despite what Mikey and Donny say, deep down inside I’m worthless and a failure, and I can’t pretend to be otherwise with you. Eventually I’ll just get you all hurt.”

For a long moment, the brothers sat in silence. For Leo, it was a heartbreaking moment, to lay his faults and weaknesses so plainly before his brother’s far too shrewd gaze. At any moment he expected this Raph to react as Leo’s original brother would have done, with a condescending laugh and a snide remark about Leo’s weakness. What he wasn’t prepared for was the gentle touch of Raph’s hand, softly cupping his cheek and lifting his head until their eyes met.

“I want you to listen, and to listen good,” Raph said quietly but firmly. “You may have been raised with those bastards, and you may have looked out for them and bled for them, but they are **not** your brothers. Brothers don’t destroy each other; they look after and build each other up. And if your sensei let them get away with that crap, he’s as guilty as they are. But I want you to understand this: you are not worthless, or a failure. I know Mikey and Donny have tried to tell you this, but I hope you’ll actually believe _me_ when I tell you. You could never be anything but the best big brother in the world. Leo, you didn’t just offer your body and your blood to protect your ungrateful brothers, you offered your heart, soul, and entire existence to keep them safe, and they didn’t appreciate it. My counterpart, idiot that he was, was jealous that he could never be half the turtle you are, and I’m not just talking about your ninja skills. Leo, having watched you, not my deceased brother, but _you_ , I can only describe the way you fight as perfect grace and poetry. Please don’t take this the wrong way, but there is something absolutely beautiful about you when you are in the zone, and that’s not something you can learn, bro, you have to be born with it. But beyond the battlefield, you absolutely shine both as an individual and as a leader. You have a natural presence that demands respect. You know how Master Splinter always told us to choose the harder way? Well, you have never though twice about setting foot on that more difficult path. For you, it was as natural as breathing.”

Raph had to pause there as his voice caught, and the tears began running down his face, matching the tears the streamed from his brother’s eyes.

“You are everything I have ever wanted to be,” Raph said once he felt he could continue. “I have loved you since the moment I became aware you were my brother. You are the best friend I could ever have, and there is nothing I wouldn’t do to keep you safe. So I’m asking, no, begging you to come back to us. Let us show you what a real family can be like. You’re safe now, Leo, if you will let yourself be. Trust us, please. We won’t let you fall.”

In less than a heartbeat, Leo had flung himself into his younger brother’s arms. Head tucked under Raph’s chin, Leo sobbed out all the pain, fear, and guilt that had built up over the years. Finally, here, with this new brother to guard his back, Leo was able to acknowledge that his former brothers had been wrong all this time. Yes, Leo had made some mistakes, but he was no failure because of them. If anything, they had made him stronger because he had been forced to learn from them. And his sensei had been wrong; the disgrace wasn’t Leo’s, it was his brothers’, for turning on him like they had, and his father’s, for not stopping the behavior that should never have been allowed to start.

Raph just held his older brother as he cried, sympathetic tears running unashamedly down his own face. But while Raph’s heart hurt for the pain Leo had endured at the hands of his own brothers, he couldn’t help but feel honored that Leo had finally trusted him, out of everyone in the family, to reveal his pain to. Raph made a silent vow then and there, that if he ever met up with Leo’s ex-brothers, they would pay for the agony they had put _Raph’s_ brother. As far as he was concerned, they had forfeited their claim on him.

At long last, Leo’s tears dried up, though he stayed in the comfort of his brother’s embrace for a while longer. Finally, he sat up, though Raph kept an arm around his shoulders, not permitting him to get too far away; Leo basked in the attention. A short while later, though, he moved to face Raph. Reaching up, he untied the blue silk that made up his mask. Ceremoniously, he handed the blue band to his brother.

“What’s this, Leo,” Raph asked, as he took the former mask.

“The symbol of my old life,” Leo explained. “I can’t destroy it; it’s too much a part of who I am. But I’m giving it into your keeping, because you more than anyone understand what it means and represents for me. But I’m pledging myself to a new family, and _that_ ,” he gestured to the blue cloth in his brother’s hand, “would just get in the way.” He then pulled a brown leather mask, similar to the one Raph was wearing, from where he’d had it tucked beneath his empty katana sheaths. Raph immediately recognized it as one of Donny’s spares, but someone had taken and reworked the stitching so that it was blue rather than purple. “I had been considering making this switch for a while now, but the time never felt right. I definitely think tonight is the night.”

Leo tied the mask secure in place. It felt very different from his old mask, but the fit was oddly comforting. Clutching the old mask in his hand, Raph just beamed at Leo.

“Welcome to the family. Brother.”


	8. Settling In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short, transitional chapter.

For the first time in his life, free of the burden of guilt heaped upon him by his family, Leo was able to discover just exactly who he was. True, he still put in more hours training than the rest of his brothers, but simply because he found a joy in doing so, rather than because he felt pushed to be the best in order to protect his family. But, to his family’s bemusement, Leo also discovered he had a lighthearted side that gave Mikey a run for his money. Indeed, one of Leo’s greatest moments was the day he was able to prank all three of his younger brothers, resulting in all of them covered in purple goo, _and_ convincing them that Mikey was the culprit who simply got caught in his own trap. They probably wouldn’t have figured it out if they hadn’t discovered the “sleeping” Leo in his room laughing so hard he couldn’t stand up. The younger turtles were so surprised to see this side of their oldest brother, and so pleased to see him feeling confident enough to let it loose, that they couldn’t complain too much. Well, Mikey and Donny didn’t complain too much; Raph ended up chasing his big brother around the Lair only to catch up to him and giving him a bear hug, covering him in goo as well.

Not that Leo didn’t still have his bad days. Responses as ingrained as his were couldn’t be overcome that quickly, of course, but his brothers were quick with the necessary reassurance Leo needed to overcome his rough times. And as the months passed, the bouts of guilt and low self-esteem became fewer and farther between. This was due in large part to the action plan the brothers had sat down together and created.

The first order of business in the plan was the practice and training schedule. Without their sensei, Leo was the natural choice to take over as his brothers’ trainer and teacher. However, the younger turtles acknowledged that it wasn’t fair to make Leo shoulder all that responsibility. That being decided, they sat down together and decided days and time for their training, with the result that they practiced morning and evening Monday through Thursday. Each turtle was given the responsibility for leading the training for one morning and one evening practice. For Fridays and Saturdays, the brothers decided that only one mid-morning practice, led by alternating brothers, would be necessary, allowing for evening activities on those two days. Sunday was a free day, wherein each brother was free to do as he wished. Attendance at practice was required, but each brother was given one free pass per week. However, if a brother chose to pass on his day to lead, he had to arrange with one of the others to take over, and agree to take one of that brother’s sessions within a week’s time.

In addition to keeping Leo from becoming the “bad guy” for nagging his brothers about their practice, the varied routines had the added benefit of actually improving the brothers’ skills. By not doing the same types of maneuvers and routines every day, no one got bored, and they were forced to stretch their skills in new ways. Very rarely did practice end in an argument, and quite often they stretched far over the two hours set aside by the brothers, simply because they were having too much fun to stop. After several weeks of reconditioning, Leo agreed that it would be safe for he and his brothers to return to the nighttime patrols, and a similar schedule of leadership for the outings was established. This way, Leo was able to relax quite a bit when they were topside. By unspoken agreement, however, leadership was immediately handed back over to Leo in actual battle situations, which there were a few, but due to their new training, the brothers worked even better as a team, without even Raph questioning or arguing with Leo’s orders. To everyone’s, even Leo’s surprise, this resulted in fights won more quickly, and fewer injuries among the brothers.

Another part of the family’s plan, one that was initially started as a way of keeping Leo from becoming isolated from his family, was the deepening of the fraternal bonds between the brothers. It started with a simply question from Mikey to his big brothers.

“Hey, Leo, I was wondering if you would like to help me make dinner tonight?”

Leo was a little stunned; Mikey never, ever let anyone, other than Raph on a rare occasion, help him in the kitchen.

“Are you sure about that Mikey,” Leo said, uncertainly. “You know me. I’m horrible in the kitchen; I even burn water.”

“No prob, bro,” Mikey reassured him. “We’ll start with something easy that doesn’t require too much actual cooking. Besides,” Mikey added, playing his trump card, “it will give me a little one-on-one time with my big bro that I don’t have to share you with anyone else.”

That had clenched the deal, for Leo, and he had agreed. To his surprise, Leo actually came to enjoy his time in the kitchen, at least once a week, with his youngest brother. Not just because it gave him time to visit seriously and on an equal level with his brother, but because Mikey was an excellent teacher, and was making real headway in teaching Leo how to cook.

Donny, seeing the increasing bond between Leo and their younger brother, decided next to get in on the act. So, one night when he was headed out to do some work on the Battle Shell, Donny invited Leo to come along.

“I’m borrowing Mikey’s idea, and stealing some individual time with you,” Donny admitted upfront. “If you pick something about how to keep the Battle Shell in shape, great. If not, well at least we can visit without interruptions.”

From then on it became tradition for the two brothers to spend every Tuesday or Wednesday evening together, either working on the armor-enhanced van, or performing repairs and maintenance on the defenses around the Lair. Leo found he actually had quite a bit in common with his second youngest brother, as the two had similar tastes in literature and music, leading to a number of very interesting discussions that helped the time pass quite quickly.

As for Raph and Leo, no actual time was set aside for them to spend together because they were pretty much inseparable already. For Leo, it was like time had somehow slid back a few years to when he and Raph were younglings. The pair laughed, talked, and teased each other unmercifully, but without the bitterness that had tainted Leo’s former relationship. If anything, Donny and Mikey began to protest that Raph and Leo spent too much time together. With this in mind, Leo began urging his other brothers to spend more time together; advice they all took to heart. The profit from his suggestion was enormous. 

As each of the brothers spent more time with the others, greater appreciation and understanding of each other’s strengths and weaknesses were born, turning them from a well-tuned team into a seamless unit. Arguments went from rare to almost non-existent. Hurt feelings were dealt with quickly and kindly, and animosity became a thing of the past. Wherever he was, Leo knew their sensei was smiling down on his sons, for they were finally the team, the family he had always wanted them to be. It was good thing, too, because the brothers were about to face the greatest threat ever to their family and its continued happiness.


	9. Unseen Threat

As Leo sat watching the evening news, waiting for his brothers to finish getting ready to go for their evening patrol, it suddenly dawned on him that he had been here, with his new brothers, for just about a year. In fact, it would be exactly one year in three days. And what a year it had been! Thinking back to that dreadful night he had tried to hang himself, Leo knew he never would have imagined just how well the events of that night would turn out. Leo had finally found the family he had always dreamed of, and he had no regrets whatsoever at leaving behind the abusive family he had been born into. As for his new family, at times it seemed like he had been a part of it forever, and at times it felt like mere days.

“Hey, earth to Leo,” Raph said, interrupting Leo’s thoughts. “Where ya’ at, bro? It’s time to go.”

“Just thinking,” Leo said, gathering his katanas and placing them in their sheaths. “Did you realize that in three days I will have been here a year? I’m thinking maybe we ought to plan a little celebration.”

Raph grinned. “Sounds good, bro. I know Mikey would certainly go for the idea.”

“What idea is that,” Mikey asked as he and Don entered the living room.

“In three days it will be my one-year anniversary of being back,” Leo said. “I was thinking a party sounded like a good idea.”

“Yeah,” Mikey exclaimed. “I have some great party dishes I’ve been dying to try out. Let’s see, there’s the bean dip, and the dessert pizza, and the…”

Leo just shook his head as he followed his youngest brother out of the Lair, Mikey still rattling off all the specialty dishes he planned to make for the celebration.

* * *

That particular evening, it was Raph’s turn to lead patrol. After a few warmup stretches, the second oldest turtle led his brothers in a game of follow the leader, ninja style. Leo was unable to keep a grin off his face as he raced after his brother over the rooftops, thoroughly enjoying himself. The brothers chased each other all over town, until they eventually found themselves out by the docks. The night took a sudden, serious turn when a large number of Purple Dragons were spotted milling around one of the larger warehouses. Pulling his brothers up short, Raph looked at Leo.

“What do you think,” he asked. Leo considered the scene below them.

“That many Purple Dragons, you know something’s up,” he said. “I’m willing to bet that if the PD’s are out here, there are Foot ninjas inside.”

“Should we check it out, or give it a pass,” Raph asked, willing to follow Leo’s lead in the matter. If Leo said they should go, they would go.

Leo scowled. “Things have been a little too quiet with the Foot here lately,” he said. “That usually means they’re planning something. If nothing else, we should probably at least take a look inside that warehouse to see what’s up. If there’s no immediate threat, then we can keep an eye on the happenings here. If there _is_ a threat, well, maybe we can neutralize it before it becomes a problem.”

“Alrighty, then,” Raph said. “You want to lead us in?”

“It’s still your night,” Leo replied. “I think you can handle leading a recon mission. If there is any real confrontation, then I’ll take over.”

With a silent nod, Raph led his brother further into the shadows. For the four ninjas, getting around the scattered Purple Dragons was mere child’s play, and they were soon on the roof of the warehouse. Quick work by Donny soon had the alarm system deactivated, the and brothers moved silently into the building. To the turtles’ pleasant surprise, there was a dark catwalk overlooking the main floor of the warehouse. Situating themselves for the best view, the turtles settled in to wait and observe. The first thing they noticed was the sheer number of Foot ninjas present: at least fifty, with about twenty of those being Elites and another fifteen wearing the light-bending gear of the Foot-Tech ninjas that would allow them to become invisible. But that wasn’t what captured the turtles’ attention. No, their interest was fixated on the large apparatus at the far end of the warehouse. 

To Leo, the machine looked like an oversized computer attached to a large projector of some sort. Busily attending to the machine was the mad genius, Baxter Stockman, his body a bizarre conglomerate of human and machine. Most alarming of all, however, was the metal sheathed figure standing behind Stockman: Oroku Saki, the Shredder. The brothers looked at each other in alarm. They all knew that if the Shredder was here in person, then whatever he had planned was about to be implemented.

Raph turned to Leo. “This is where I hand things over to you, Leader Mine,” he whispered. “What do we do?”

Leo’s mind immediately shifted gears, moving into battle leader mode. “First, we need to even the odds a little,” he whispered back. “A couple of Donny’s special smoke bombs ought to do the trick, especially if we spread out along the catwalk so that we cover a larger area.” The smoke bombs Leo was talking about were a new invention of Don’s, combining the cover of a traditional smoke pellet with a strong, air-born sedative. “Using the cover of the smoke, we move in and take out as many of the Foot ninjas as we can; fortunately we all have our heat-vision goggles, because we’re going to need them against those Foot-Tech’s. Once we hit the floor, I want you and Mikey to cover Donny and get him to that machine. He will hopefully be able to sabotage it before Stockman can use it do whatever it does.”

“Sounds fine and dandy,” Mikey said, “but aren’t you forgetting one little detail? What about the Shredder?”

“Leave Saki to me,” Leo said grimly.

Taking Leo at his word, the brothers spread out along the catwalk. At Leo’s signal, they let loose with a barrage of smoke pellets. Their masks securely in place, the brothers moved into the cover provided by the obscuring smoke, and quickly made their way through the crowd of Foot ninjas covering the floor. As the smoke began to clear, and the brothers were able to see clearly once more, they were pleasantly surprised to find that the knockout gas had performed better than anticipated, with at nearly half the Foot lying unconscious on the floor. Unfortunately, a good number of those still standing were the Elites, so the turtles’ onward movement was momentarily curbed. Still, even the Foot’s so-called superior force was no match for the greater skill and teamwork of the four brothers, and the turtles had soon reached their destination. As Mikey and Raph took on the job of distracting Stockman so that Donny could get at the machine, Leo found himself face-to-face with Saki himself.

“This is impossible,” the Shredder growled as he parried the blow from Leo’s katana. “I killed you myself.”

“Yeah, but you see Metal Head, I’m like a nasty personal fungus,” Leo replied. “Just when you think you’ve gotten rid of me, I come back worse than ever.” With that, Leo increased the strength of his attack. Saki soon found himself hard-pressed to keep the blue accented turtle from getting through his defenses. Still, he did not allow that to stop him from bragging,

“Your interference does not matter, you meddlesome freak of nature. My trans-dimensional window is set on automatic. In a matter of minutes, it will be completely powered up, opening a window to unleash an army of demons that will rip this reality apart. Once the world is in chaos, I will be able to take over, at which time I will return the demons to their own dimension, leaving me to rule this world once and for all.”

“Saki, did anyone ever tell you that you talk too much,” Leo asked, just before he delivered a powerful kick to the wanna-be dictator’s head that knocked him out and sent him flying. Leo didn’t have time to finish him off, however, as the sounds of battle coming from behind him distracted him. Turning around, Leo saw Donny being held in a too-tight hold by the crazed Stockman, while Raph and Mikey battered his robotic body in an attempt to make his let go.

“Leo, the machine,” Donny gasped as Stockman’s hold tightened even more.

Leo turned to find the “window” part of the machine beginning to brighten. Leo knew if he didn’t do something soon, the portal would open, and Saki’s army of demons, or whatever they were, would come pouring out. Unfortunately, Stockman stood between Leo and his goal, and even as distracted as the human-robot monster was, Leo knew he would never be able to get around him to turn it off. So Leo did the only thing he could think of. Grabbing one of his katanas off his back, he threw the weapon as hard as he could at what appeared to be the control panel. The sword cut easily into the command mechanism, and immediately sparks began to shoot out of the device. The portal itself began to fluctuate in size as the power flow to the generator ceased to flow regularly.

“No,” Stockman screamed, releasing the purple-accented turtle. But instead of running to the now malfunctioning machine, he turned the disappeared into the dark. Leo rushed to his brothers’ assistance. Pulling one of his wheezing brother’s arms over his shoulder, Leo helped Donny to his feet. As Raph and Mikey joined them, the youngest turtle exclaimed,

“Hey, where’d Shred-head go?”

Leo looked to where Saki’s body had lain only moments before, but as expected, it was no longer there. Leo felt the beginnings of a guilt attack for not removing the threat from his family when he had the chance. It must have shown on his face because Raph immediately cut him off.

“None of that,” he told his big brother. “We’ll always have another chance to take Tin Head down. You helped where you were more needed.”

“Uh, guys,” Mikey said, his alarmed tone pulling his two oldest brothers’ attention back to the present. “I thought we shut that thing down.”

The three older turtles turned to look at the trans-dimensional portal. What had, moments before, been a stuttering and fluctuating portal had become a large tear through space and time, looking like a large floating wound made of light. Even worse, however, were the vague shapes that could be seen slowly materializing out of the portal.

“Donny,” Leo shouted, “shut it down.”

Donny dove at the control panel, desperate to follow his leader’s order, but before he could even begin to guess how to do so, the figures finished materializing, and stumbled into the turtles’ reality.


	10. Threat Greater Than These

Leo looked at the figures standing before him in complete horror. They literally were the tormentors of his worst nightmares. Dropping his katanas, having reclaimed the one he had unceremoniously throw into Stockman’s machine, Leo began to back away from the interlopers, horror filling his face as he shook his head in denial at what he was seeing.

“No, this can’t be possible,” he whispered, dismay coloring his tone. Suddenly, a comforting arm around his shoulders stopped his backward movement.

“Whoa, easy there,” Donny told him. “It’s all right. They can’t hurt you. Not anymore.”

That said, Donny turned to glare at the interlopers; the _three_ interlopers. Instinctively, he placed his body protectively between his brother and the unwanted newcomers. Mikey, nunchucks out and at the ready, came to stand beside him. Raph, on the other hand, took a more direct approach. Sais clenched in his fists, he stalked up to the trio.

“Not that I can’t guess from my bro’s response, but I’ll ask all the same,” he growled. “Who the shell are you, and what are you doing here?”

But the red masked figure just ignored him. Instead, he turned stunned eyes on the trembling leader and said,

“Leo, is that you?”

Before Leo had the chance to respond, Raph’s fist flew out and knocked the newcomer on his butt. Using the element of surprise to his advantage, Raph straddled the fallen figure and, using his knees to pin his arms to the ground, placed the point of one sai at his prisoner’s throat.

“Attention on me, bucko,” he hissed, applying just enough pressure to cause the other to wince slightly. A small movement out the corner of his eyes had him refocusing his attention on the two other individuals who had also come through the dimensional window. “Ah, ah, ah,” he told them. “Stay put. I would have absolutely no compunction about putting a blade through this loser’s throat, so I suggest you don’t give me any more reason to.” Turning his focus back to the pinned figure beneath him, Raph said, “Now, back to my questions. Who are you, and what are you doing here?”

“I’d think you’d know who I am, considering you see my face everyday in the mirror,” Raph’s prisoner growled. “As for what I’m doing here, well that’s more my brother’s specialty. Why don’t you ask him?”

“Because,” Raph said, pushing a littler hard with his sai, “I asked you.”

Before the other turtle could say anything, the sound of sirens filled the air. Leo, snapping back into leader mode, said,

“Raph, let him go and let’s get out of here.” The three newcomers were shocked when the irate turtle immediately climbed to his feet and joined his brothers without argument. Looking at their three unwanted visitors, Leo said, “While I don’t particularly want you here, honor means I can’t refuse you shelter while you are a visitor here. Therefore, I offer the comfort of my home until we can send you back where you belong.” And without waiting for a response, Leo turned and disappeared into the shadows, followed closely by his younger brothers. After another moment, the silent figures of Raphael, Donatello, and Michelangelo followed as well.

++++++++++++++++++++++++

As he followed his older brother into the familiar labyrinth of the sewers, Raphael found himself too stunned to speak. When he and his brothers and been sucked into that glowing dimensional portal, Raphael had been uncertain where they were going to end up. The last place he expected to land was in a warehouse in another version of New York, face-to-face with the older brother he had spent a year believing was dead. He had been even less prepared for the alternate versions of himself and his younger brothers that were doing an excellent job keeping themselves between the three newcomers and their brother.

When Raphael had first seen the other turtles, it had been a little difficult to differentiate between them, because of the identical brown leather masks they wore. It was only by looking at their weapons that he had been able to put a name with each of them. But when he had met the horrified gaze the sword wielding brother, Raphael knew immediately that somehow, by some impossible means, this was _his_ Leonardo, _his_ older brother. And then that shell-cursed alternate version of himself had the audacity to knock him down and treat him like _he_ was the enemy.

“I can’t believe it’s him.” Michelangelo’s stunned voice broke through Raphael’s rambling thoughts. “I…I thought he was dead.”

“Don’t go getting your shell in a wad,” Raphael growled at him. “We don’t know for sure that it’s him.”

Donatello scoffed at the comment. “After seeing the way he reacted when he saw us you still don’t think he’s our Leo,” he asked a little scornfully. “If you didn’t recognize that terrified expression on his face when he saw us then you’re an idiot.”

“So what if he’s our Leo,” Raph huffed. “Seems he’s made himself at home here. Looks like he’s found some sycophants willing to kiss his butt; why should he leave?” The words were cold, but deep down inside, Raphael feared they were true. After all, given what Leo had done to get away from his true family, why would he choose to give up a place where he apparently fit in? Raphael wasn’t sure, if he were in Leo’s place, that he would make that choice either.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

From his position just a few yards ahead of them, Raph listened to his alternate’s harsh words, and his blood began to boil once more. How dare these bastards come here and dare to destroy the peace and happiness they had managed to build for their family? As far as Raph was concerned, those bozos’d had their chance, and they’d blown it. Now here they were, once again interfering with his brother’s life. Well, not if he had anything to say about it. Oh, no, he owed these jerks for the months of hard work he and Mikey and Donny had put in to save _their_ big brother. But most of all, he figured he owed them for hurting Leo in the first place. He couldn’t imagine what kind of twisted person it took to deliberately and repeatedly harm the amazing individual that was his older brother. Raph let a small, malicious smile cross his face; no, he couldn’t imagine deliberately harming Leo, but he sure had some pretty daydreams about kicking the shells of the ones who had.


	11. The Night Before

Mikey was not a happy turtle. As soon as he had seen those creeps in the colored masks, he’d know they were the ones responsible for the crap Leo had gone through. If his gut feeling hadn’t been enough to go by, the scary way Leo had cringed and backed away from them when he first saw them would have confirmed it. Mikey was turtle enough to admit that he was jealous that Raph had gotten to punch his evil twin; Mikey would have loved to do the same. And then Leo had gone all noble on them and invited the cretins into their home. Well, as far as Mikey was concerned, they could stay, but that didn’t mean they were welcome.

Donny’s thoughts were along similar lines, though he was more concerned with how Leo was going to respond to his former brothers’ presence than with the actuality of their being here. It was clear from the way Leo had backed away from them that Donny’s older brother was still very vulnerable. Not that that would be a problem; as long and Donny, Mikey, and Raph were around, the interlopers would not have a chance to reinjure their brother.

It was a rather subdued group that arrived back at the Lair a quarter hour later. The first thing Leo did was remove his katanas with a sigh of relief. The weapons needed cleaning, but that could wait until morning. Besides, Leo had bigger issues to worry about. He wasn’t happy about inviting his former brothers back to the Lair, but he had done so to prove a point: they may have misplaced their honor somewhere along the path, but he had not. Besides, Leo acknowledged to himself, his brothers, his _real_ brothers, the ones who had taken him in and provided all the nurturing he needed, had his back. As long as he had them, he had nothing to fear from his past. Well, at least it sounded good in his head; if only he could get the rest of him to believe it.

Looking at the solemn group of assembled turtles, Leo sighed again. He was about to take up the rather unwanted mantle of leader once more, when Raph spoke up.

“Okay, here’s the deal. I don’t really want you here; I think that’s pretty clear. But my bro invited you, so I’m not going to make an issue out of it.” _Yet_. “That being said, we need to make some sleeping arrangements. Personally, I’d rather let you sleep out in the sewer, but somehow I don’t think that’d pass muster with Leader over here.”

“My…Donatello can have my room,” Donny volunteered, though none to enthusiastically. “I have a cot in my lab that will suit me for a couple of nights.”

“And Michelangelo can sleep in my room,” Mikey said. “He’d just better keep his hands to himself.”

Everyone looked at Raph, but he refused to budge.

“Nope, no way. Jerk face over there can either sleep in Master Splinter’s old room, or here on the couch. I’m not giving up my room for him,” Raph said.

“He can have my room,” Leo said suddenly. “I’ll take the couch.”

“The shell you will,” Raph interrupted. “The tough guy over there can sleep on the couch; you certainly won’t be. And if you absolutely insist on giving up your own bed, though he doesn’t deserve it, then you can just come share with me. My bed’s plenty big enough, and it certainly won’t be the first time we’ve bunked together.”

Before Raphael could make a snide comment about the brothers sharing a bed, Mikey suddenly popped up with

“Hey, Raph, can Donny and I move the cots into your room, too? We could make it a bunking party.”

Raph’s first instinct was to refuse his youngest brother, but the look in Mikey’s eyes stopped him. Just like Raph, Mikey was furious at the interference these trans-dimensional pests created in their lives. But beyond that, Mikey was desperate to protect his big brother, and right now this was how he met that need. With a smile, Raph turned to Donny.

“Hey, D, you in?”

Donny gave a small nod. “Allow my to gather my things, and I will be along shortly.

TMNTTMNT

Half an hour later, the Lair was finally dark and quiet. In Raph’s room, Leo was sound asleep, surrounded by his brothers, none of whom were sleeping. It had taken a while to get Leo calmed down enough to go to sleep, but after a complete “Mikey-massage,” and the calming sensation of Raph rubbing soothing circles on his shell, Leo had finally relaxed enough to go to sleep. Of course, the fact that he was literally surrounded by his brothers helped. Once everyone was ready to get settled, Raph had immediately placed himself on the side of the bed closest to the door. Leo had been given the far side of the king-sized bed, against which Mikey had tucked his cot. Donny had then placed his cot right up against Mikey’s, so that the two cots formed almost a double bed. Thus encircled by his brothers, Leo was able to slip away into a relatively peaceful sleep.

Once he was certain Leo was out, Raph sat up on the bed, though he never removed his hand from his brother’s shell. He was immediately joined by Mikey and Donny.

“I don’t like this,” Raph whispered to his younger brothers. “Those good for nothing dirt bags are gonna be trouble.” He recounted for his brothers what he’d overheard as the group was traveling home that night.

“What have they been smoking,” Mikey exclaimed softly. “After what they did to Leo, there’s no way he’s gonna want to go back with them.”

“Unless they guilt him into,” Donny said. “They very well could try to make Leo feel guilty for not going back with them.”

“Uh-uh, not gonna happen,” Raph said. “I will gut every last one of them before I let them heap anymore guilt on Leo than they already have.”

“So what do we do,” Mikey asked.

“What we do best: look out for our brother,” Raph said. “To begin with, Leo is never left alone with any of those jerks. One or more of us stays with him at all times. Next, we don’t let them mess up our schedule. We’ll just keep living our lives as if they weren’t here. I want them to see just how happy, and more importantly, how successful Leo is here with us. And last, but not least, we beat the crap out of them if they cause Leo one nanosecond of hurt. I’ve already got a date with my counterpart as soon as I can arrange it without arousing Leader Mine’s suspicions.”

Donny and Mikey exchanged looks. “Sparring session,” Donny suggested.

“Sounds about right,” Mikey agreed. “Leo couldn’t get too suspicious if those idiots got the snot kicked out of ‘em during a normal sparring match. Especially if we were oh, so sorry about it afterward.”

Raph gave a cold laugh.

“Bros, I like the way you think” he said. “So here’s to operation ‘Interference,’ and a little ‘harmless’ sparring session our counterfeits will have the displeasure of facing in the near future.”


	12. The Morning After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder that this was my very first fanfiction ever. I've done some minor editing to clean up some of the worst writing, but I've left it overall in its original form. Keep that in mind when reading.

When Leo awoke the next morning, he was a little perplexed to find himself in Raph’s room. It wasn’t that he’d never woken up here before; he had, usually after a nightmare had forced him from his sleep, and he’d sought his brother’s presence to drive it away. But usually, those awakenings didn’t include him being sandwiched between both Raph _and_ Mikey. Besides, Leo couldn’t recall the nightmare that had driven him from his own bed. Then memory returned, and Leo knew why he was in Raph’s room surrounded by his younger brothers. It wasn’t because a nightmare had propelled him out of his sleep, but because the demons of those nighttime terrors had come horrifyingly to life. Cuddling even closer and burying his head in his youngest brother’s shell, Leo couldn’t suppress the shiver than ran through him. Immediately, though, Leo felt a hand begin to rub soothing circles on his shell.

“Easy there, bro,” Raph whispered as he in turn snuggled closer to Leo. “You’re alright.”

Being careful not to wake Mikey up, Leo turned over to face Raph, who immediately pulled him into a comforting hug. Tucking his head beneath Raph’s chin, Leo whispered,

“I don’t want them here.”

“Then why did you invite them into our home,” Raph asked, half teasing, half serious.

“I don’t know,” Leo confessed. “I guess I just wanted to prove that, just because they were horrible to me, it didn’t mean I had to be the same way. Besides, I also wanted to rub it in their faces that I had found a place where I was happy and loved, and that I don’t need them anymore.”

Raph allowed himself to smile at that admission. In his own way, Leo wanted revenge for what his former siblings had done to him; that was something Raph could get behind one hundred percent.

“Then let’s show them what they’re missing,” Raph said. “We’ll just go about our lives like they weren’t here, until we can figure out how to get rid of them for good. As much as having that other know-it-all genius around irritates me, I figure having another Donatello around can only mean they’ll get the problem figured out twice as quickly.”

Raph could almost feel Leo smiling against his plastron. “Yeah,” he said softly, “in this case, two heads probably _are_ better than one.” Then Leo’s voice became serious again. “I…I just don’t want alone with them. At least, not immediately. I’m not ready.”

“Already got that covered, bro,” Raph reassured him. “Mikey, Donny, and me aren’t going to let them get anywhere near you without one of us at your side. It’s probably gonna get a little claustrophobic, but…”

“It’ll be better than having to deal with them by myself,” Leo said.

“That’s not gonna happen,” Raph said. “At least, not until Donny and I are convinced you’re ready, which probably won’t happen until several years after they’ve gone home.”

Relieved for the moment that his brothers were watching his back, Leo nuzzled closer to his brother, content just to soak in the affection he was so freely being offered. The peace didn’t last long, however, and the sounds of Donny and Mikey beginning to stir reached them.

“Oh,” Leo groaned as he moved away from his brother. “I guess if we’re going to keep things normal then that means morning practice.”

“What’s this,” Raph teased as he too got up. “Leader Mine not wanting to practice? Gasp, I think the world is coming to an end.”

Leo snatched one of the pillows off the bed and hurled it at Raph, expertly catching him in the face.

“Stuff it, you,” Leo mock growled. “And what’s with this the ‘Leader Mine’ business? I though I was ‘Fearless Leader’?”

“You were,” Raph agreed, “until I noticed how much the title bothered you. After that, Mikey, Donny and I decided we needed something else to call you. We decided that since you were definitely still the leader, and since you are _my_ best friend, and _our_ brother, we would put those two elements together. We thought about a couple of other options, but ‘Leader Ours’ didn’t have the same ring, and ‘Oh Captain, My Captain’ (1) was too long to say.”

Leo just looked at his brother in mystification for a moment before breaking out in laughter. “You nut,” he said, but the smile on his face was all need Raph needed to see.

TMNTTMNT

Since it was Thursday morning it was Leo’s turn to be in charge of morning practice. The brothers had barely started their stretches when three rather unwelcome figures rather hesitantly entered the dojo. To Raph’s and his brothers’ immense pleasure, Leo didn’t even give the new arrivals a second glance.

“If you’re going to join us,” Leo said coolly without breaking his focus, “you had better get warmed up.”

Raphael, Donatello, and Michelangelo gave him a startled look, but quickly took his advice. Once everyone was had stretched and warmed up, Leo led the group through a number of katas of increasing difficulty. To Raph, Donny, Mikey, and even Leo’s amusement and glee, the three new turtles could not keep up through the final three katas. Raph smirked to himself. It seemed that these three, even with the guidance of their sensei, were not nearly as advanced as Leo, and by extension Leo’s new family, who had been learning on their own for a year.

Following the katas, Leo changed the routine slightly. While normally he would have set the brothers to sparring in partners, today he only did so with Mikey and Raph. Raph glared at his brother and best friend, but Leo only gave him a knowing look. As familiar as Leo was with his younger brothers, he knew Raph and the others would be out for blood this morning if he partnered them up with their counterparts. Raph might have been irritated at being circumvented this way, if not for something in the look Leo gave him. When the time came, Leo would not interfere in the “lesson” Raph had planned for his brothers, but now was not the time. Giving his older brother a quick nod, Raph turned back to Mikey, and immediately took the offensive in their sparring match. He wasn’t surprised when Mikey met him with equal fervor. Neither brother was happy at not being allowed to take out their aggression on their real targets, but for the moment, this would have to do.

Once Leo was certain Raph and Mikey would obey his directives, he led Donny over to where the other three turtles were waiting. Leo didn’t fool himself into thinking that Donny was any less ready to teach the outsiders a lesson, Leo just knew Donny would have better control over himself, which is why he was Leo’s choice to assist in teaching the advances kata forms to the others.

Shutting his emotions away, Leo turned to the three turtles facing him and said, “All right, we’re going to start with the first kata you threw had difficulty with this morning.”

“And what if we don’t want to work through some stupid kata,” Raphael challenged, taking a step toward Leo. His progress was suddenly halted by a hard _thump_ as Donny’s bo-staff hit his plastron.

“Then feel free to leave,” Donny said, getting in red-masked turtle’s face. “Leo’s in charge this morning. You follow his orders, or you leave. It’s as simple as that.”

Raphael grumbled, but fell back in line. Donny just shook his head and gave Leo a look. The look Leo sent back told him Raphael’s behavior was nothing new to the older turtle. Donny was flabbergasted. If this was Raphael’s normal temperament, it was no wonder Leo had come to them in the state he was a year ago. Living with that much hostility on a constant basis wouldn’t do anyone any good.

Once certain his former brothers would actually pay attention, Leo and Donny went through the kata once, all the way through. Next, Leo had Donny perform the first few moves, and then had the other three attempt to copy him. Donny couldn’t help but glow with pride as Leo was able to put aside his obvious fears and settle into the gentle but firm teaching mode Donny and his brothers had come to know so well over the past year. Leo was never harsh or critical when he corrected you, but neither would he let you get away with sloppiness. When Leo was certain his former brothers had the first half of the kata well in hand, he left them under Donny’s watchful eye so that he could go join his other brothers in their sparring.

Fifteen minutes before the two hours were up, Donny called an end to the exercise, and set the unwanted visitors to stretching and cooling down. As the four turtles cooled down, they had the opportunity to watch as a weaponless Leo took on the highly armed Mikey. Donny almost smiled as Michelangelo gave an admiring whistle.

“He’s good,” Michelangelo said, watching as Leo neatly avoided a very complex attack from the whistling nunchucks.

“Which one,” Donatello asked, his voice echoing his own appreciation.

“Both actually,” his orange-clad brother said. “That last move? I still haven’t mastered it yet. It also takes someone who knows exactly what they’re doing to get away from it, and Leo wasn’t anywhere near getting caught.”

“Yeah, so what,” Raphael grumbled. “It’s just Leo showing off again.”

Donny wanted so badly to hit the red-bedecked turtle, but he was surprised when his counterpart interceded instead.

“You know what, Raphael, I don’t think so. Leo’s good, we’ve always known that. But in the year he’s been gone? I think he’s gotten better, faster. And if you would stop feeling so threatened, maybe you could open your eyes and see that for once.”

With Raphael sufficiently cowed for the moment, Donny was able to return his attention to his brothers on the practice floor. _You don’t know the half of it_ , he wanted to tell the trespassers. _But just wait, you’ll see._


	13. Raphael's Screw Up

Raphael was, in a word, pissed, and not in the British slang definition of the word either. He had his younger brothers had been in this mixed–up dimension for nearly a week now, and not once had he been able to get anywhere near Leo alone. One of Leo’s annoying new brothers was always with him, most usually Raphael’s infuriating duplicate. Neither Donatello nor Michelangelo had had any more success in getting Leo alone either.

One thing this enforced role of observer had done was demonstrate to Raphael just how much happier Leo was now. Unlike the Leo Raphael had grown up with, this Leo laughed and joked. A lot. In fact, Raphael had the unsettling experience of watching Leo prank his youngest brother, the self-proclaimed king of pranks, so thoroughly that all Mikey could do was stare at his oldest brother in complete shock before breaking into gale s of appreciative laughter. Finally, Raphael was forced to admit it: he was jealous, and feeling guilty as hell. Although Donatello and Michelangelo had done their part in alienating Leo, it had been Raphael’s devastating behavior that had broken him. To this day Raphael could still recall with perfect clarity the image of his brother’s body, kicking and jerking, hanging from his ceiling. Most disturbing of all, though, had been Leo’s hands. They had been clasping the edge of his shell so that he _wouldn’t_ tear at the rope that was slowly strangling him to death. By the time it had dawned on Raphael that Leo truly did want to kill himself, it was too late. Leo’s body had gone lax, and then it had disappeared all together.

From that night on, Raphael had been living with the guilt of what he had driven his brother to. Instinctively, Raphael knew it had been his words that night, that had driven Leo over the final edge. Unfortunately, it wasn’t until Leo was gone that Raphael realized that he hadn’t meant it; that he hadn’t meant any of it. His hateful behavior all along hadn’t been aimed at Leo, but at himself. Raphael had weaknesses; he knew that, he just didn’t like to admit to them. So he had attacked his strong, invulnerable brother instead. Except, Leo had proven not to be so invulnerable, and then he was gone before Raphael had the chance to apologize. And now that Raphael had found him again, Leo had a brand-new family who obviously adored and supported him the way Leo’s own hadn’t. Even more maddening, that family wasn’t letting Raphael deliver the apology he so desperately longed to give.

So Raphael had come up with a plan. After observing the past several days, he had learned that Leo was in the habit of heading into the dojo for an hour or so of personal training, before his brothers joined him for their evening practice. Tonight, Raphael planned on sneaking into the dojo for a little one-on-one with his big brother, with a little help from Donatello and Michelangelo to distract Leo’s bodyguard at the door.

For once, things seemed to be working in Raphael’s favor, for Mikey was on guard duty outside the dojo. After giving Leo about half an hour to himself, Raphael gave the signal. Immediately, his younger brothers started yelling at each in the kitchen, the farthest room from the dojo. At first, Mikey hung tight at his post, until he heard the first crash. A quick glance around to make sure no one was lurking about, and then Mikey rushed to save his precious cooking implements. Moving with trained stealth, Raphael crept into the dojo.

Once inside, Raphael hung to the shadows along the walls, created by the few candles Leo was using to light the room. Watching his older brother, Raphael found himself a little breathless at the grace and precision demonstrated by Leo as he completed a complicated set of jumps, twists, blocks, and blows with his katanas. Watching him like this, there was no denying Leo had only gotten better in the year he had been away from his family.

Raphael was so intent on watching his brother, that he jumped a little when Leo suddenly said, “I have nothing to say to you. Get out.”

Just like that, the leash on Raphael’s temper snapped, and he lunged out of the shadows at Leo, never noticing the way his older brother cringed away from him, or the fear that filled Leo’s face as Raphael approached him.

“Well I have something to say to you,” Raphael snarled. “I’m tired of you ignoring us, of you treating us like we’re second class citizens. In case you’ve forgotten, Leo, you’re our brother, not theirs. Or have you gotten so caught up in this sycophantic fantasy that you’ve forgotten where you really belong? Answer me damnit!” And with that he grabbed Leo’s wrist with bruising force, ignoring the visible trembling that filled the horrified figure in front of him.

Before Raphael could do anything else, however, he found himself flying across the room and hitting the wall hard, thanks to a powerful kick from Raph. The red-accented turtle had been headed for the dojo to set up for that evening’s practice, which he was in charge of running, when he had heard his counterpart screaming at Leo. It had been when Raphael had grabbed the shaking Leo, oblivious to the older turtle’s terror, that Raph had interceded.

Turning his back on the downed turtle, Raph went to Leo’s side. Keeping his movements slow and his voice soft, Raph was able to collect his traumatized brother into an embrace.

“Easy there, big bro, it’s just me,” Raph soothed as he rubbed his brother’s shell. “Whoa, whoa, it’s okay,” he added as Leo tensed at the sound of pounding feet approaching the dojo. “It’s just Mikey and Donny.”

Turning to look at his approaching brothers, Raph glared at Mikey, who was supposed to have been watching Leo’s back. The look softened, however, at his youngest brother’s teary, guilt-filled look. Raph knew there would be no need to reprimand Mikey for his inattention; his own guilt would be punishment enough.

As soon as the two younger turtles saw the scene before them, they knew what must have happened. Likewise ignoring the fallen Raphael, they hurried to where Raph had Leo in a secure, comforting embrace. Once there, they added their own reassuring touches to let know Leo know he was safe once more. After a few moments, Leo’s trembling stopped, though he did not withdraw from the security of his brothers’ arms. Leaning against Raph, Leo whispered something too soft for anyone else to hear, to which Raph nodded. Slowly and carefully, Raph helped Leo to his feet. 

Turning to his brothers, and gesturing at the three other turtles now present, he ordered, “Don’t let any of them leave. I’m going to take Leo to my room, and when I get back, tonight’s lesson will begin.”

TMNTTMNT

It took Raph a few minutes to get Leo settled in the bed, so by the time he had returned to the dojo, the candles had been extinguished and the lights returned to normal.

“All right,” he growled as he came prowling back into the dojo, “I have had enough of you bozos. Every time I think I’ve seen the worst of what you could do to my brother, you prove me wrong by doing something worse.”

“But—“Michelangelo started to protest, but Mikey cut him off with a hard thump to the head.

“Sit down and shut up, rocks for brains,” he growled at his older counterpart.

“You see, we were hoping that maybe, just maybe you three creeps would have the smarts to learn by observing,” Raph continued. “In our world, we don’t abuse our brothers. We don’t leave them to fend for themselves after they’ve been wounded. We don’t verbally, physically, or emotionally attack our brothers, especially brothers as amazing as Leo. Do you three realize the damage you did to him? Or did his attempt at suicide just go over your heads?”

“You morons wouldn’t believe what we’ve had to go through the past year to restore Leo to what you’ve seen up until today,” Donny added. “When he first got here, Leo was sick from an infected wound you,” he pointed accusingly at Donatello, “didn’t or couldn’t bother to attend to. In addition, Leo was practically skin and bones, and he acted like any touch was a prelude to a beating. You had him so beaten down mentally and emotionally that he hated himself and couldn’t see anything worthwhile. He confessed to us that your family, including your sensei, saw him not as a member of the family, but as a weapon to be used solely in the family’s defense. Then, when that weapon proved to have the same faults and weakness as any other mortal, you threw it away.”

“Well, now it’s your turn,” Raph said, stepping forward once more. “You three seem to think attacking someone is the only way to get your point across, so we’re giving you a chance to prove it. Except this time, you won’t be facing a scared, hurt turtle who has been trained his whole life to kowtow to you.” Raph pulled his sais from his belt. “Like I told you before, attention on me, bucko. It’s time to dance.”


	14. Not the Two Step

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will straight up admit I don't like this chapter. The writing is very immature, I freely admit that. However, I don't have the mental energy to try and rewrite it. So please be kind.

As Raph began to circle his opponent, he knew he had to put aside the angry brother and become the professional ninja he’d been trained to be. Immediately he began to test for areas of weakness in his opponent’s defenses he could exploit. Raph feigned an attack at his enemy’s left side. Hmm, not bad, but not as fast as it could be. After just a few seconds, Raph repeated the motion to the other turtle’s right side, but this time he didn’t pull back. Score! Raphael hadn’t been fast enough to keep Raph’s sai from nicking his side.

With first blood now scored, the fight was on, full force. Raphael, Raph had to admit, was good. At first, the younger turtle was driven back by a barrage of kicks and strikes that came with incredible speed. But Raph had an ace up his sleeve, and that was the past year he’d spent under Leo’s tutelage. With his older brother’s guidance and training, Raph had become stronger and faster than ever. And now it was time to put all that training to work, avenging his brother against the very individual who featured in Leo’s worst nightmares.

With a quick flip, Raph landed behind his opponent. A strong kick to this shell had Raphael flying forward, into the wall. He immediately recovered, and turned back to face Raph, his sais flashing as he twirled them. Raph just smiled confidently, and mockingly motioned him forward once more. Raphael charged his younger version, only to be tossed unceremoniously over Raph’s shell. Cursing, he came to his regained his feet. This time, however, he led his attack with his sais. With a _clang_ of said meeting sai, Raph met him move for move. Using his better stance and leverage to his advantage, Raph pushed Raphael back a step, then delivered another punishing kick to his plastron. This time, when Raphael hit the wall, his weapons dropped from his hands. When he went to grab them, however, he was stopped by a sai suddenly piercing the ground directly between his hand and the lost weapon. He turned a dark look on his younger counterpart.

“Come on, old man” Raph taunted. “Let’s try this the old-fashioned way, _mano a mano_.”

With a growl, Raphael charged, but Raph neatly leaped over him. A firm kick to Raphael’s backside sent the other turtle face first into the wall. Again, Raphael approached, though this time at a much more controlled pace. Once he was in range, he unleashed a punishing volley of kicks and punches that left the younger turtle unable to do much other than defend himself.

By this time, the fight was beginning to get to both turtles. Determined to end the find on his own terms, Raph kicked it up a notch. Moving faster that ever before, Raph landed a set of double punches to his opponent’s face that left his bleeding from the mouth where his lips were cut on his teeth. 

“That,” he told Raphael, breathing heavily, “is for what you did to Leo tonight.”

Several punishing spin kicks left the older turtle nursing decidedly bruised ribs. “And that is for the way he flinched away from me the first three months he was here.”

Finally, Raph downed his enemy with a sweeping kick that knocked Raphael’s feet out from underneath him. “And that is for every cruel, heartless thing you’ve ever said to my brother that made him feel lower than dirt.”

Panting slightly, Raph stood over his fallen, bleeding counterpart. “Keep away from _my_ brother,” he growled. “You lost all rights to him when he tried to kill himself because of what you did. Now, leave him alone with the family who truly appreciates what you so stupidly threw away.” With that, Raph turned away and walked to where his brothers were waiting. Clapping Donny on the shoulder he said, “Your turn bro. Have at it.”

TMNTTMNT

Donny moved calmly onto the floor, bo staff in hand. When Donatello didn’t move fast enough to join him, Mikey “encouraged” him with a rough shove that sent the older turtle scrambling to regain his balance. Silently, the two turtles faced each other. For a long moment, no sound was heard beyond the heavy breathing of the two previous combatants. Then, without warning, Donny sent a lightening fast blow from his bo toward his opponent’s abdomen. Donatello barely caught the blow on his own weapon, and it still left his arms aching and palms stinging from the strength behind it. Before he could fully recover, however, a second strike came from seemingly nowhere and landed harshly along his left side. Reacting on sheer instinct, Donatello returned the blow, only to have it smoothly turned aside by Donny’s weapon.

For the next few minutes, the two purple clad turtles exchanged blows in what very well could have been a scene straight out of Robin Hood, only ninja style. All that could be heard was the _clatter_ and _clack_ of the two wooden staffs hitting each other, punctuated by the occasional grunt as a blow landed, and the muted sound of feet as the two turtles jumped and dodged to avoid each other’s blows. It rapidly became apparent that while Donatello had strength on his side, Donny was quicker and more agile. Being slightly smaller than his counterpart, Donny was able to slip under Donatello’s guard and deliver quick, stinging blows that left the older turtle off balance.

Once he had his opponent where he wanted him, Donny, following Raph’s lead, began to punctuate his blows with an enumeration of his counterpart’s sins in regard to Leo.

 _Thwack_! A blow hit Donatello upside his head. “That’s for letting Leo suffer for that wounded shoulder without helping him,” Donny said grimly.

 _Thwack!_ A stinging blow landed on Donatello’s right wrist, followed closely by one to his left. “That’s for not standing up for Leo when he needed you.”

 _Thud!_ The end of Donny’s bo caught Donatello in the stomach, knocking the air out of him. “That’s for every time you made my brother feel like a useless failure.”

Suddenly, Donny’s bo staff caught Donatello behind the ankle, knocking him onto his shell. Before Donatello could move, he found the tip of Donny’s weapon poised a mere inch about his windpipe, the younger turtle’s face a study in wrath. “And that,” Donny hissed, “is for your part in tonight’s stupidity, and the new pain is caused my big brother. Now, like Raph said, stay away from Leonardo.”

And with that, Donny turned and marched off the floor.

TMNTTMNT

As Donny made his way off he floor, Mikey flipped away from the wall toward the center of the room. “My turn,” he cried enthusiastically. Turning to give his counterpart a snarky little grin, Mikey taunted, “Why don’t you just give up now, dude. I’m just gonna whip your butt.”

“In your dreams, JV,” Michelangelo shot back. “You’re only junior varsity. Stop and watch how the big boys play.” With that, he set his nunchucks whistling and singing with a blindingly fast attack, which Mikey very deftly, and easily, avoided.

“Not bad, not bad,” Mikey said. “Now, try this on for size.” Mikey’s attack was, if anything, even faster and more impressive, and Michelangelo barely had time to get out of the way. As it was, one of the ‘chucks still hit his shell with a harsh _smack_.

“All right, it’s on,” Michelangelo growled, and the pair of two youngest brothers began to attack in earnest. For those observing from the sidelines, it was like watching a pair of armed pinballs go at each other, as both Mikey and Michelangelo jumped, flipped, and bounced all over the room and off the walls. The fight wasn’t nearly as pretty as the two previous, and both combatants delivered a fairly equal number of blows. For a while it appeared the match was going to be a draw, when suddenly Mikey managed to entangle his opponent’s nunchucks with his own, and pull them from the other turtle’s grip. Automatically, Mikey moved in with a follow through: the same maneuver Michelangelo had been admiring that first morning he had joined Leo’s new family for practice. Unfortunately for Michelangelo, he, unlike Leo, didn’t know how to counter the attack, and as a result he ended up unconscious on the floor from being hit in the head with the end of Mikey’s nunchuck.

“Huh, so much for the varsity team,” Mikey said, looking at the unconscious form on the floor in front of him. Limping slightly from a bruised ankle, the result of not jumping fast enough to avoid his enemy’s weapon, Mikey rejoined his brothers.

Raph turned a cold eye on the three bruised, bleeding, and, in Michelangelo’s case, lifeless figures. “I suggest you keep your distance from Leo for the remainder of your stay. If I even suspect that you’ve caused him one second of concern, I will wipe the floor with your butts so hard it will make tonight look like a birthday party.” And with that, the three victorious turtles turned and left the dojo.

TMNTTMNT

After cleaning themselves up, Raph, Mikey, and Donny made their way back to Raph’s room.

“Are they still breathing,” Leo asked as his brothers settled on the bed around him.

“Unfortunately,” Raph grumbled. “But we did wipe the floor with them.”

Leo gave his brothers a breathtaking, though teary smile. “Thank you,” he whispered as he drew them all in for a group hug. “Thank you for caring enough to fight for me.”

“Any time, bro,” Raph and the others assured him. “You’re ours, and no one but no one messes with _our_ family.”


	15. Going Home

In the days following the fight, there was very little interaction between the two sets of brothers. Raph, Mikey and Leo, when they weren’t training, either spent their time in Raph’s room, or safely topside. Raphael and Michelangelo, on the other hand, had chosen Master Splinter’s old room as their retreat. Only Donny and Donatello had any extensive contact, and that was kept strictly on the business of returning Donatello and his brothers back to their dimension.

After several days of discussion and false starts, the pair finally came up with what they reasoned would be a workable plan. That evening after dinner, all seven turtles were summoned to the living room to be briefed.

“All right,” Donny said, starting off. “This is what we know for sure. The night our… visitors appeared in our world, Donatello had been testing a new quantum dimension detection unit. At the same time Saki’s unit went on the fritz here. Now, when Leo’s katana cut through the control panel, we think it interfered with the internal power distribution coupling. In short, it prevented the machine from delivering enough power to the window projector to complete a connection between our dimension, and the demon world Saki intended on reaching. However, since the machine was already activated, it began searching for a closer dimension, one that would require less energy, to latch on to. It hit upon Donatello’s dimension, because his detector acted as a beacon for it.”

“That’s all very interesting, but what does that mean,” Raphael asked.

“It means that we should be able to open a portal back home, using Saki’s machine. It’ll take a little tinkering, but it ought to work,” Donatello replied.

Leo looked at Donny. “Do you agree,” he asked.

“Right now, it’s our best shot,” Donny said. “As long as no one has interfered with the machine, which I doubt they have since the warehouse as been under lockdown for the past week and a half. Restarting the machine should simply reopen the portal to its last destination, which would be their dimension.”

“Very well,” Leo said, confirming the decision. “Have everything ready to go by dusk. I want to be on our way to the warehouse by nightfall.”

TMNTTMNT

Just a few hours later, the seven turtles were packed up and ready to go. As Leo moved out of the Lair, he stopped, gave the familiar surroundings one last look, a sense of foreboding settling over him.

“Hey, bro, what’s the hold up,” Raph said, coming to his side.

“I’m not sure,” Leo said. “I…it’s just, I get the feeling I won’t be coming back.”

“Don’t say things like that,” Raph growled, a sliver of panic slithering through him. “Of course you will. Just think, in a couple of hours our unwanted houseguests will be gone, and then we can come back and plan that party we were talking about last week.”

Leo just smiled at his brother, but deep down inside, he knew that party was never going to happen.

TMNTTMNT

The trip across town to the warehouse was uneventful, but that only served to make Leo more wary. He hated missions that seemed to be going too easily; they were always the ones that ended up going to hell. Still, it was a relief to arrive at the warehouse and find it, other than the police tape, relatively untouched.

Immediately, Donny and Donatello moved in to assess the dimensional window projector. Donny gave a whistle as he inspected the damage done by Leo’s katana.

“Impressive work, bro,” he told his brother admiringly. “I don’t think you could have hit more essential systems if I have given you a blueprint and point-by-point instructions.”

“You can fix it, though, can’t you,” Leo asked, and Donny gave him reassuring pat on the shell.

“Bro, if I can completely repair Raph’s shell cell after Casey stepped on it and then Raph dropped it in sewer water, then this will be piece of cake by comparison.”

That said, the two purple accented got down to work. Leaving them to it, Leo turned to the other four turtles and said, “Spread out, and keep your eye out for anything out of place. I wouldn’t put it past Saki to come back and try to reclaim his little toy.”

“And you would be right, wouldn’t you,” a very familiar voice hissed from behind Leo. The oldest turtle turned to find Saki and fifteen of his Elites emerging from the shadows. “Now, why don’t you throw down your weapons, and I promise I will make your death quick.”

“Like shell,” Leo said, drawing his katanas. 

“Good, I was hoping you would say that,” the Shredder said with a cold smile. “In that case, my ninjas can entertain your pathetic little family. I’m going to take care of you myself.”

“Keep the Elites away from Don and Donatello,” Leo ordered over his shoulder. Turning to the Shredder he added, “I’m going to end this for good tonight.”

As the fifteen Elite ninjas rushed past Leo, he gave them no mind, instead keeping his attention solely on the figure directly before him. He knew from past experience just how fast Saki was, and knew that taking his eyes off him could very well prove to be his downfall. For a long, tense moment, neither combatant moved.

“Well, turtle, aren’t you going to make a move,” Saki taunted. “Or have you discovered you’re really a coward underneath the shell.” Leo never blinked; he just continued to look at his enemy with a calm, implacable gaze. Feeling unaccustomedly unnerved, Saki moved first, lashing out with a clawed gauntlet. Leo met the oncoming weapon with his right blade. Using the momentum from the strike to whirl himself around, Leo landed a kick straight at the Shredder’s back. Saki used the forward drive to power a forward handspring away from Leo. Turning back toward his opponent, Saki executed a flying kick that caught Leo solidly in the plastron, knocking him backward.

Allowing instinct to take over, Leo redirected his backward movement into reverse somersault, and came back to his feet, swords in hand. With a leap, he somersaulted over Saki’s head, turning to last out with his left blade as he landed, but the blow was caught on Saki’s left gauntlet. Before Leo could disengage, Saki dropped and swept his feet from beneath him, sending Leo onto his back. Instantly, Leo rolled to his right, barely getting out of the way of the descending blades of the Shredder’s clawed armor.

Quickly regaining his feet, Leo once again found himself face-to-face with his enemy. This time, Leo didn’t wait for the Shredder to take the offensive; instead, he launched a blistering attack of flashing blades and powerful blows. It was enough to drive the Shredder back a few steps. He recovered instantly, however, and suddenly it was Leo who was once again on the defensive.

Acknowledging that he couldn’t keep this pace up forever, Leo back-flipped away from his opponent, giving himself a little breathing room. It was apparent Saki needed a moment as well, for he didn’t immediately come after the sword wielding turtle. Concerned for how his brothers were managing, Leo looked to where they were fighting to keep the Elite ninjas away from Don and Donatello, who looked like they might have the dimensional window up and working. He didn’t have time to do much more than acknowledge that they were holding their own before Saki was upon him once more. This time, however, the metal wearing warlord changed tactics slightly, as he leaped at Leo, catching around the chest. Instead of letting go, however, he followed the turtle to the floor, and as they impacted against the floor, he dug his claws into the tend flesh along Leo’s right side, between his plastron and his shell.

Unable to hold back a cry, Leo’s body bucked in pain, dislodging his attacker. Arm pressed against his bloody side, Leo turned unsteadily to face his opponent, bracing himself for another attack. Instead of pressing his advantage, however, Saki was looking at him with a self-satisfied look on his face, Leo’s blood dripping from his left hand.

“I must admit turtle, you fight a good deal better than your predecessor,” Saki told Leo. “He never lasted half this long during our sessions while he was in my ‘care.’ Pathetic, really. By the time I killed him it was a mercy. You, at least, have presented me with something of a challenge. But it doesn’t matter. It’s only a matter of time before I succeed in killing you, and then your brothers will be at my mercy. I think I’ll take my time with them; I wouldn’t want my enjoyment to end too soon. By the time I’m done with them, they will be cursing you for the quick death you enjoyed.”

At the Shredder’s words, an intensity nothing like anything Leo had ever experienced before overcame the oldest turtle. Strength and energy unlike he had ever known previously flooded through Leo, and he dropped his arm away from his wounded side. Moving almost too fast for the eye to see, Leo landed a punch that sent the Shredder, who was shocked by and unprepared for the strength of his adversary’s assault, stumbling backwards, his helmet flying away. Unable to move fast enough to block the incoming attacks, Saki could only stand there as Leo pulverized him.

“You will keep,” Leo growled as he landed a snap-kick against Saki’s jaw, “your filthy hands,” a bruising roundhouse to Saki’s stomach, “away from my brothers!” A final uppercut laid the warlord out in the floor. Without a second thought or the tiniest regret, Leo pulled his katanas, and buried them both in the Shredder’s abdoment, deep enough that they pierced the floor beneath his body. For a long moment, Leo was aware of nothing beyond the sound of his heavy breathing and the bloody, lifeless figure lying on the floor before him. With a grunt, Leo pried his swords out of the floor and, after wiping the blood off on his enemy’s clothes, placed them back in their sheaths across his back. That’s when the silence hit him. Turning away from the Shredder’s corpse, Leo found his stunned brothers staring at him, surrounded by the unconscious bodies of the Elite ninjas. Before he could make any move toward them, however, the silence was broken by a loud _crack_ , and Leo suddenly felt an agonizing flash of heat in his stomach. Looking down, he was horrified to see the blood gushing from a hole in his plastron.

“No,” Raph screamed, as his brother collapsed on the floor, blood pulsing from the gunshot wound in his gut. Without thought, and without looking, Raph sent a said flying in the direction he had seen the shot come from. Ignoring the pained scream from the sai hitting its mark, Raph rushed to his fallen brother, Mikey and Donny at his side.

Falling to his knees beside the blood covered Leo, Raph wasn’t sure where to start. He was grateful, therefore, when Donny ordered him to take the towel (from Donny’s ever-present bag which, like a good boys scout, was always prepared), and press it firmly against the wound. Raph did so, though he winced as Leo gasped and the new pain.

“Shh, easy bro, it’ll be alright,” Raph reassured his hurting brother. “You’re gonna be fine.” _You’ve got to be_. But even as he said it, Leo’s words from earlier that evening came back to haunt the younger turtle.

“He’s not gonna make it,” Donatello said, coming up behind Raph, followed closely by his brothers.

“What do you know,” Raph growled, pressing even harder on the still bleeding wound.

“I know that if Leo doesn’t get medical help soon, he’s going to bleed to death,” Donatello told him. “I also know that your Lair is too far away, and even if you get him back there alive, you don’t have the equipment you need to save him.”

“So what do you suggest we do,” Mikey snapped from Raph’s other side. “Just let him die?”

“You could send him back with us,” Donatello suggested. “I have the equipment and the knowledge to save his life. Besides, it’s a lot closer to our home than to yours.”

“No,” Raph immediately snapped. “You nearly killed him before. How can we trust him to you again?”

“Because he’s our brother too,” Donatello said quietly. “And despite the horrible mistakes we made previously, we still care for him. I don’t want to watch him die anymore than you do, and I have the means to save his life.”

Before Raph could disagree once more, Donny cut in.

“Raph, he’s right,” Donny said sadly. “Leo needs attention; now. If we tried to get him back to the Lair, he’d be dead before we arrived. Besides, I don’t have the necessary means to save him.”

“So what, we just send him back with the jerks that almost killed him in the first place,” Mikey asked, tears streaming down his face.

“The way I see it, we have two choices,” Donny said, his own face covered in tears. “We can either keep Leo here and let him die, or we can send him with them and let him survive. It all comes down to which reality we’d rather live with.”

For a long moment Raph sat in silence, weighing the two options. Finally, he gathered his brother’s limp body in his arms and embraced him tightly against his chest. Then, with great solemnity, he gained his feet and, turning to face Donatello, passed the body of his best friend, his big brother, over to the other turtle.

“Please, save him,” Raph said, his voice gruff. “I’d rather know he was out there somewhere, still alive, than to watch him die here. Just…just take care of him. You almost destroyed him once; don’t do it again.”

With an equally solemn nod, Donatello took his brother’s body and disappeared through the glowing portal, Raphael and Michelangelo close on is heels. It wasn’t until the portal shut down behind them that Raph collapsed, heaving sobs pouring from him as he lost his brother yet again.


	16. Father's Lament

Even with their home being as close as just a few steps, it still was a race for Donatello to save his brother’s life. As soon as he emerged from the dimensional window, he rushed out of the lab straight to the infirmary, right past his stunned sensei, his brother’s bleeding body clutched tightly in his arms. Immediately upon placing Leo on the makeshift operating table, Donny dove for the small refrigerator he kept in the room and removed several bags, each one labeled “Raphael.” While Donatello would have preferred to wait until he could properly warm the life giving liquid up before infusing his brother, for the risk of sending Leo further into shock was very great, Leo’s need for the blood _now_ made that impossible. Within moments, Donatello had the IV set, and the infusion set up and running. Only then did he allow himself to consider his older brother’s wounds. Immediately he knew this was going to be a two-turtle job.

“Michelangelo,” he called out. “I need your help in here.”

To many it would have been a surprise that Donatello would choose Michelangelo as his medical assistant, but next to Donatello, the youngest turtle had the keenest eye and the most agile hands.

“Scrub up and get to work on Leo’s side,” Donatello ordered him. “He’s bleeding out as fast there as this gunshot wound. Check to make sure none of his intestines got punctured, then close him up. I’m going to have to chase down that bullet; it’s still inside him.”

Without a word Michelangelo nodded and set out to follow his brother’s instructions. Turning back to the task before him, Donatello likewise set about saving his big brother’s life.

TMNTTMNT

Out in the living room, Raphael was pacing, unable to sit still. However, as the only turtle not involved in the life-saving operation going on in the infirmary, he quickly became the focus of his father’s attention.

“Raphael, explain,” the elderly rat ordered his second oldest son.

“I…we…Leo…found him…shot,” Raphael rambled, unable to get his thoughts in order.

“Raphael, kneel,” Splinter commanded. It worked; the age-old command that had long since been ingrained into the turtles brought Raphael to heel, and allowed him to organize his thoughts into a semblance of comprehensible order. “Now, start at the beginning. Where have you and your brothers been the past several weeks,” Splinter prompted.

Raphael gave his sensei a quick rundown on what had taken place since their disappearance, starting with the night they were dragged through the dimensional portal and found Leo with his new family, up until tonight when Leo killed the Shredder and got shot for his pains.

“He was dying, sensei, but even then, I still think he would have fought to his very last breath to avoid coming home with us, even if it cost him his life,” Raphael said, his voice pained. 

“Surely he would not have fought against his family bringing him home,” Splinter said, unable to believe what his son was telling him, but Raphael just shook his head.

“You should have seen him with his other brothers,” Raphael said, looking into his father’s eyes. “Leo was happy. For the first time in his life, he was content, he was relaxed; he was not only where he was supposed to be, but _how_. I have never seen the side of Leo that I saw with those other brothers. And, the thing is, although they knew he wasn’t really _their_ Leo, they loved him anyway. We got our shells kicked because we forgot the lesson we should have learned when he left us, and we fell back into old habits. And Leo let them do it. He actually accepted their protection and assistance, while he was terrified, literally terrified, of us.” Raphael heaved a deep sigh. “We screwed up royally, sensei,” he continued. “We abused and misused Leo’s loyalty and devotion. They nurtured and bolstered it. All of us here, in Leo’s ‘real’ home, nearly destroyed him, but they were not only able to pick up the pieces, but put them back together stronger than ever. Although I feel we did the right thing, saving Leo’s life, he’s never going to forgive us for what we’ve stolen from him a second time.”

TMNTTMNT

After getting his second son settled in the kitchen with a warm drink, Splinter took himself off to his room to meditate on what Raphael had revealed. Since his oldest son’s disappearance, and presumed death, Splinter had spent many days pondering and regretting his actions toward Leonardo. Ever since his son was small, no more than a hatchling, Leonardo had taken it upon himself to look after and protect his younger brothers. With his innate skill as a ninja, his ability to plan, and his extensive compassion for his family’s weaknesses, Leo had been the ideal leader. However, in the past several years it had become evident that Leo’s responsibilities as leader for the team were beginning to wear him down too much. The night Splinter had turned the reigns of leadership over to Raphael hadn’t been intended as a punishment for his oldest son, but as a chance to relax and refocus himself. It hadn’t happened that way, however, and Leo began to slip further and further into depression and a sense of failure.

Even worse, the old rat admitted to himself, he had failed to correct his younger sons’ thoughtless and cruel behavior, at least in front of his suffering eldest child. Instead, discipline had taken place behind closed doors, and Leo had never known his father had taken up for him. Yet even Splinter hadn’t known how lost Leo was feeling, or just how damaged and fragmented his family had become, until that night, but by then it had been too late. Before his father could come and apologize, Leo had attempted to take his own life, and then he was gone.

Deep in Splinter’s heart was a sense of gratitude for the other brothers that had taken the suffering Leo into their hearts and home, and had healed him. He couldn’t help regretting, nonetheless, that it wasn’t Leo’s original family that had been able to heal him. It was a painful truth to face that it had taken an adoptive family to repair what they had broken. Still, there was a chance that amends could be made should Leo pull through the life-threatening injuries he had sustained.

Determined to do what he could to begin immediately, Splinter pushed all other concerns aside and concentrated strictly on his oldest son. Focusing on that glint of humor in his eye whenever Michelangelo did something that tickled him, to the sense of honor and responsibility that defined him, Splinter reached out to find the essence that was his oldest child in the dark neither region of that existed between reality and the mind. When at first Splinter was unable to find any trace of his son, he feared he was too late. He was just about to give up for the time being, when a small, familiar flicker caught his attention. Latching onto it, Splinter followed it through the darkness. At long last, his oldest son came into view.

“Leonardo,” Splinter called out, but Leo made no response. Striving to gain his son’s attention, Splinter reached out to place a hand on Leo’s shoulder, but was stopped short by some sort of invisible barrier. After several futile attempts to get through the barrier, Splinter finally stopped and just observed his son. Not once during his sensei’s struggle had Leo’s attention wavered from what he was looking at, so Splinter turned to see what had his son so enraptured. There, not three feet from where Splinter stood, was the kitchen in the Lair. At least, it appeared to be the kitchen. It took several minutes for Splinter to realize that was something just slightly “off” about the scene. Central to the scene were three turtles. At first Splinter couldn’t understand why Leo was so intensely focused on his brother in this way, when he noticed the masks these versions of his sons were wearing: they were all brown leather. A quick glance confirmed Splinter’s suspicions, for Leo was wearing an identical mask. That’s when the rat noticed his son was reaching out imploring toward the turtles, only to be stopped by an invisible barrier similar to the one between Splinter and his son.

All at once, Splinter found himself back in his room. Tears filled his eyes as sorrow tried to crush his heart as the image of his oldest son reaching desperately for his new family burned in his mind. The symbolism wasn’t hard to interpret. Leo was physically separated from his new family, yet longed to return to them. At the same time, an emotional barrier separated him from his birth family. Constructed partially of the abuse they had heaped on him over the year, and partially of grief and longing for his new family, that barrier would be difficult to breach, if it was possible at all. Notwithstanding the difficulty, Splinter and his sons had to try; but if they failed, Leo would be lost forever.

Climbing stiffly to his feet, Splinter made his way to the now silent infirmary. By the clock on the wall, it had been several hours since his sons had returned, and the emotionally intense days and hours and finally driven them all to sleep.

Taking a seat beside the unconscious Leonardo, Splinter took his son’s hand.

“I am so sorry, my son,” he said softly, tears once again filling his eyes. “I have failed you as both a father and a teacher. And now, when you had finally begun to heal, we are once again forced to hurt you deeply. I just beg you, please come back to us. We will do whatever we must to regain your trust, even if your love is lost to us. But you must fight. Your brothers of the heart, the ones you long for so desperately, would not want you to give up. Even if they never see you again, which I pray is not the case, they would wish you to live and to do the best you can. So, even if you cannot do this for me and those who love you here, do it for them and the love they will have for you, wherever you are.”


	17. Sorry Isn't Enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this isn't too saccharine. I was aiming for angst, but I'm not sure it quite got there.

The next morning, Splinter gathered his sons around and described his experience of he night before.

“We may have saved your brother’s body, but I fear the battle for his life has only begun. We must do our best to bring him back to us, though I fear it will be the most intense battle we have yet to face.”

That said, Splinter encouraged his sons to spend as much time, individually, with their brother as they could. Although it was uncertain whether Leo could hear them, or even if he would listen to them, at least the sounds of their voices would give him something to latch onto should he elect to return. It wasn’t much, but it was all they could do; the rest would be up to Leo to decide. A rotation was set, and by mutual agreement Michelangelo was allowed the first watch.

As the youngest turtle took his place beside his brother’s sick bed, he was overcome by a wave of grief and guilt. Thinking back to his behavior towards Leo before his oldest brother had disappeared, Michelangelo could not help becoming disgusted with himself. Although never intended to be intentionally cruel, the younger turtle knew that the practical jokes and snarky comments he had aimed at Leo had hurt the older turtle more than he had let on. Sorrow lacing his voice, Michelangelo took his brother’s hand and began to talk.

“Hey Leo, it’s me, Mikey. Well, I guess it’s actually Michelangelo, since ya’ got a new Mikey. Bro, I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am. I don’t really have an excuse; there’s not really an excuse for using your brother as a verbal punching bag, huh? I can’t even really say I did it for the laugh, because none of those pranks I pulled, or the jokes I made about you were all that funny.

I suppose I never stopped to consider that you had real feelings, just like the rest of us. I got so caught up in the myth of you as the ‘fearless leader’ that I stopped thinking about you as an individual. Guess your new brothers remembered that. Watching you with them, it made me remember what it was like when we were little, before this team thing got in the way. Dude, when we were little, you were my hero; actually, you still are, even though I haven’t shown it in a long time. No one was as strong or as brave as my big bro Leo. I know Raphael always gives me a hard time about my fascination with superheroes, but I think it comes from the fact that as a youngling, I was convinced you were one. Dumb, huh? It always amazed me that you seemed to know what to do, no matter what was going on. You seemed invincible, so I forgot a cardinal truth: heroes are people too.

I really want you to come back to us Leo. I have so much to share with you, so much time to make up for. But bro, I’m not going to insist. We hurt you bad, and not just before. If it wasn’t for us showing up uninvited like we did, you’d still be happy living with your new family. Master Splinter, Donatello, and Raphael wouldn’t be happy if they knew I was telling you this, but you have to decide what’s best for you. Do I want you do leave us? No. But if you decide that’s what you have to do, if returning here would only make you miserable, then know that I, at least, understand. Just remember something, okay? I love you. I haven’t shown it like I should have, but I do.”

At that point, Michelangelo could not bring himself to say anything more, as tears clogged his throat. Instead, he just sat in silence, gently running his hand over his brother’s arm, and soothingly rubbing his plastron. Deep down inside, Michelangelo knew that somewhere, somehow, Leo had heard him and had, at least on some level, forgive him. But the damage was too deep; Leo wasn’t coming back.

TMNTTMNT

Donatello was the next to take his turn with his older brother. Unaccountably nervous, the second youngest turtle fussed around his older brother, checking his wounds and the IV lines for problems, rather than talking about the real problem.

“Everything’s looking good,” Donatello told his lifeless brother as he finally took his seat. He licked his lips nervously. “It’s all healing up like it should. So…so…so I should stop dancing around the subject, huh? It’s just, I, well I feel like the world’s biggest moron. Here I am, the so-called ‘genius’ of the family, the trained scientific observer, and yet I completely missed what was taking place within my own family. No, I worse than missed it; I ignored it. Your Donny was right to kick my shell. What I did in refusing to treat your wounded shoulder was unforgivable, as a ‘medic,’ but even more as your brother. I don’t have an excuse why I did what I did. You could have died from that infection, and it would have been my fault. Just one more in my list of wrongs. Let’s see, there were also the nasty things I said to you, or laughed about when Mikey said them. Your Donny took me to task for those too. But even worse, as he pointed out, I didn’t stand up for you like I should have. Shell, I can’t count the number of times you have stood by me and my crazy ideas, even when it was apparent you had no clue what I was talking about, or even why my idea was relevant. You just accepted that because I said something would work, or that it needed to be done, that it would or did.

Leo, we need you to come back to us. We…I have missed you. I miss our late-night talks when you would come to send me to bed early in the morning after I had put in too long a night at the lab. I miss having you lead our team and our family. I miss your strength. Please, let me have another chance.”

By this time, Donatello was crying. Unable to speak, all he could do was hang onto his brother’s hand. As he cried, Donatello was forced to admit that while a good portion of his tears were due to his own guilt, a greater part of them came from the soul deep “knowing” that the destruction of their bond was too extensive, and Leo wasn’t coming back.

TMNTTMNT

It took several days of Michelangelo, Donatello, and Splinter sitting with Leo before Raphael was ready to take his turn. Entering the infirmary reluctantly, the red-clad turtle took a seat next to his brother, but he couldn’t bring himself to actually touch Leo. Raphael, unlike his brothers and sensei, had seen firsthand how much his touch had terrified his older brother. Deprived of touch as a means of communicating his feelings, Raphael was forced to rely solely on his words.

“Hey big bro, it’s me. I know, you probably don’t want anything to do with me. I can’t blame you. I wouldn’t want anything to do with me either. But I was hoping you would at least maybe hear me out. The first thing I’m going to say, is I’m not going to say I’m sorry. And that’s not because I don’t regret what I did; I do. But what I did to you goes beyond the ability of ‘sorry’ to fix it. I have never been so ashamed of myself in my entire life, and I’ve said and done some pretty nasty things. But I don’t think I’ve ever done anything so offensive, so repulsive as my methodical, piece by piece destruction of you, big brother. I don’t even deserve to call you by that title anymore. Your new brother was right. I forfeited that right, and I was an idiot.

The one thing I would like you to understand is, it was never you. I never, ever hated you. What I hated were my own weaknesses, highlighted, at least in my eyes, by your strengths. Nothing I did ever could compare to you, and I hated myself for it. But rather than admit that, and accept the help I know now you would have offered me, I instead tried to bring you down instead. Unfortunately for both of us, it worked. I knew I had gone too far that night I called you a disgrace, because it was never you who disgraced our family. But I did. There was no honor in the merciless way I ripped your soul to pieces. I have to tell you, though, that I have never hated myself more than I did that night I walked in on you hanging yourself, except for maybe that night I attacked you in your new home.

I was jealous, you see. Not so much of you, because, even though I didn’t show it, I was so happy to see you content and at peace, but I was certainly envious of your new family. I…I just wanted what they had. I wanted it to be me you turned to when you needed a shoulder to cry on. I wanted it to be our family you were sharing your laughter and joy with. And at the same time, I knew I had lost that forever, because _I_ had driven you away. Raph was right to take a piece out of my hide. He was doing what I should have been doing for all these years: throwing aside my blasted pride to protect you from anything and everything that would hurt you, even myself. It’s funny, but even though you were not the brother he was raised with, I could see your strength of character in him, in all of them.

Leo, I’m begging you to come back. I will do whatever I have to do to convince you to return, even if it means leaving the family for good. Just, please, come back to us. Michelangelo and Donatello need you. If it matters to you, I need you. Please, don’t let it end like this.”

At last, unable to restrain himself any longer, Raphael snatched his brother’s hand up. He desperately hoped for a sign that Leo had heard or acknowledged him, but there was no response. Leo remained as still as the night they had brought him home.

TMNTTMNT

Days passed, and the small family continued to plead and beg for their lost member to return, but there was no response. Leo just lay on the bed, comatose and unresponsive. As the days turned into weeks, it became apparent that wherever Leo was, what he needed wasn’t in this place. Hope became displaced by despair, and the little family began to wait for the day when their beloved member would stop fighting and, finally giving in to the inevitable, would leave them for good.


	18. Sun Will Shine

It had been a month since Leo had disappeared through the dimensional portal with his original brothers, blood pouring from the life-threatening wound inflicted by the crazed Baxter Stockman. The poor, pathetic bastard had had yet another body part removed by the vengeful Saki for the failure of his dimensional window projector, and he’d been out for revenge. Well, to be more precise, it had been exactly 28 days, 15 hours, and 7 minutes, and Raph and his brothers had been aware of each and every one of those minutes as they had slowly crawled by. Even though the brothers knew Leo’s life was in qualified hands, it didn’t stop the agony of losing him yet again. This time the pain was, if anything, even sharper than when their Leo had disappeared years before.

After the window had closed, Raph had only been able to lay there on the floor, sobbing. If not for Donny’s insistence, he probably would have stayed there indefinitely, or until the boys in blue found him and dragged him away to some science lab for dissection. Moving mechanically, Raph had allowed Donny to pull him off the floor. It was only as he went to locate his missing sai, the one he had thrown at Leo’s assailant, that the brothers had discovered that the would-be murderer was no other than Stockman himself. Stockman, however, would be a threat ever again, for Raph’s aim and been true. He’d hit the mad genius in the throat, stopping him for good. Joining Mikey, who was carrying Leo’s beloved and now abandoned katanas, the three brothers had desolately made their home.

Since then things had been very quiet for the brothers. With Saki dead, the Foot had fallen apart, and the Purple Dragons were no more a nuisance than any other street gang in the city. Without anything outward to focus on, it was a miracle the little family had not fallen apart. Fortuitously, the lessons in family togetherness they had learned while helping Leo recover had continued to stick with them. Each brother in turn had to be the strong one, supporting and caring for the others when it seemed their own strength was used up. But the three turtles knew it couldn’t last; they weren’t living, only surviving, and soon the will to do even that much would cease to sustain them. Even now, Donny spent very little time in his lab, his will to create and invent completely evaporated by his grief. Mikey hardly ever smiled, only making the attempt when it became apparent one of his brothers needed cheering. And Raph, well Raph was hit the hardest, and it was only for his brothers’ sake that he continued to make the effort to remain engaged in life.

“We shouldn’t have sent him back with them,” Raph groused to his brothers, and not for the first time. The brothers were sitting around the kitchen table, lunch spread out in front of them, though no one was actually eating. “He trusted us to watch his back, and we betrayed him.”

“What could we have done,” Donny asked sadly, unwilling and unable to counter his brother’s argument; but the truth had to be faced. “If he had stayed here, we would have buried him within days. We couldn’t save him; they could.”

“Could they really,” Raph challenged. “Sure, Donatello probably kept him from dying, but we threw him back into the lion’s den. You saw him with them. Leo was terrified of those bastards, so what kind of life will he have with them?” By this time, Raph was on the verge of tears.

“Raph…”Donny, started, but tears clogged his throat as well.

“I just miss him,” Raph choked out, tears beginning to run unheeded down his face. “I would give anything and everything just to have him back.”

Suddenly, Raph found himself holding tightly to both of his younger brothers, tears running down all their faces. Mikey was sobbing too hard to say anything, but Donny managed to whisper through his anguish, “Me, too. No matter the cost, getting Leo back would be worth it.”

“Would it now?” A voice behind the brothers asked. Springing apart, and trying to inconspicuously wipe their eyes, the brothers turned to face the intruder. She…it…the glowy octopus-like figure was stand/floating in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room. It didn’t take long for Donny to realize who the unusual individual must be.

“You’re her; the Bridger. You’re the one who sent Leo here in the first place,” he exclaimed.

The figure gave the impression of bowing her head, though there was no real “head” to bow. “Indeed. Your brother’s pain at his family’s disloyalty, and your pain at your older brother’s loss, allowed me to bridge the gap between your dimensions and bring him here. I must admit, that was perhaps the finest fit I have ever seen between members of two different realities. But now I once more sense an imbalance in this world, and your hearts are once again burdened by loss and need.”

Donny gave the Bridger a quick run-down of what had happened with Leo, and why he was no longer with them.

“That would explain it, then,” the Bridger said. “Your brother traverses the astral plain, which is a small portion of my reality, seeking a way to return here to his chosen family. However, in doing so he risks his survival in the material world, and his original family is unable to reach him in order to bring him back.”

“Please, there must be something you can do to help him,” Mikey suddenly exclaimed, his eyes pleading as he looked at the glowing figure in front of him.

“Unfortunately, the astral plain is the one place where I am forbidden to interfere, for too much damage could be done by one of my strength and abilities,” the Bridger told him sadly. “However, there is another option, but it would require a great sacrifice on your part.”

“Anything,” Raph whispered, fear for his brother nearly suffocating him.

“Your brother is seeking you three. Regrettably, while you remain in this dimension, he cannot reach you, and his path back grows increasingly unstable. What I propose is that the three of you leave this place behind, and travel to your brother’s reality. Before you choose this option, though, I must warn you. If you leave here, it will be permanent. You will have to make new lives for yourselves in your brother’s world.”

Raph didn’t have to deliberate with his brothers before he said, “We’ll do it.”

“Are you certain,” the Bridger asked. “With your enemy dead, this world is a safe one. You would live here in peace and safety.”

“No, we would live here incomplete, because our last fourth would be missing,” Raph corrected. “If we could have a few moments to collect a few personal items, we’ll be ready to go shortly.”

“Very well. Collect what you feel you will need in your new life,” the Bridger conceded. “When you are ready, I will take you to your new home.”

TMNTTMNT

Fifteen minutes later, the three turtles were reassembled in the living room. Each one had a large duffle bag filled with the personal items they wished to take with them as they began their new life. For Mikey, that included several favorite comic books, videos, and a small stuffed bear he’d had since he was a hatchling, plus a few other odds and ends. Donny had forced himself to choose only a handful of incomplete inventions to bring, along with his favorite set of tools. Raph had included several favorite CD’s, a number of favorite books, and a family portrait of his family, taken back before their original Leo disappeared and their sensei died. Most notable, however, were the katanas strapped to his back; the very katanas Leo had unwittingly left behind when he was sent back through the portal with his former brothers.

Once everyone was gathered, Raph looked to the Bridger. “All right,” he told her. “We’re ready.”

“Very well.” The Bridger gave a wave of her hand, and around the turtle the room seemed to waver for a moment before settling back into place. When the world was steady once more, the turtles were alone.

“Did it work,” Mikey asked, looking around a room that looked very much like the one they had already been standing in.

“Oh, yeah, I’d say it worked,” Donny said, his voice sounding a little funny.

“How do you know,” Raph asked, turning to look at his brother.

“Oh, only because _he_ wasn’t present when we left,” Donny said, pointing toward the door of the infirmary. The “he” Donny was speaking of was a very startled Master Splinter, who looked just as surprised to see the three new turtles standing the middle of his home as they were to see him.

“All right, I’m gonna say it because someone has to,” Mikey said. “Guys, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.”


	19. You've Been Bridged

When Splinter first saw the three turtles standing in the living room, he was a bit perplexed, namely because his sons had left half an hour earlier, at his insistence, to spend the evening with April and Casey. The truth of the situation dawned on him when he saw that these versions of his sons were looking back at him through leather masks, not the colored silk he was accustomed to seeing. For the first time in over a month, the elderly rat felt a well of hope that things just might be looking up for his fragile family. With a much lighter heart, Splinter moved forward to greet the new arrivals.

“Welcome, young ones,” he said graciously, stopping a few feet short of the small group. “Though I am surprised by your arrival, I must admit it pleases me greatly to finally have the opportunity to meet you. I do wish it were under better circumstances, however.”

As one, the three turtles bowed in respect the elderly ninja. Then the closest one, presumably Raph, for he was wearing a matched set of sais at his belt, stepped forward and asked rather anxiously, “Please, sensei, where is Leo? Is he okay?”

Splinter sighed sadly and said, “My son still breathes, but I fear the question of whether he is ‘okay’ is one I am not in a position to answer. Though his body is healing, I fear is heart is far from this place.”

A second turtle, Mikey at a guess, stepped forward. “Dude, that’s why we’re here.” The response was almost enough to make Splinter smile; this, indeed, was his youngest son’s alternate self.

Finally, Donny, the only one left who hadn’t yet spoken up, said, “Sensei, please, where is Leo. We really, really need to see him.” Splinter could plainly see the truth of that statement in these youngsters’ face. Although they were doing their best to be polite, their only real thought was to reach their brother’s side. 

Gesturing toward the door through which he had just come, Splinter said, “Your brother is through there.”

Without a second glance at Splinter, the three brothers moved through the doorway into the infirmary. Upon seeing Leo unconscious on the bed, all three turtles found themselves with tears in their eyes; tears, Splinter observed, they made no move to hide. Although the elderly rat knew he should leave the boys to their reunion in privacy, a part of him needed to see how these versions of his sons would behave toward their brother. Overwhelming all else, Splinter noted, was the extremely tender and loving way the three brothers spoke and handled their fallen brother. Each one softly touched Leo in some way, with a hand on either his arm or plastron, and gentle words were passed from each standing brother to the unconscious figure lying on the bed. When Raph laid his head down on Leo’s plastron and began to sob, however, Splinter knew it was time to withdraw and leave the little family to its healing; he had seen enough to know that, come what may, these three newcomers were the answer to his prayers for his son’s survival.

TMNTTMNT

For Raph, the shock of seeing the individual who was the exact replica of his deceased father was not as severe a shock as one might have thought it would be. In part, Raph knew, was because his concentration was single-mindedly on getting to Leo. A little voice in the back of his mind, that sounded suspiciously like Donny, also suggested that since he and the others had been granted the time to say goodbye to and grieve for their father, there had been some measure of closure following his death, so Raph was able to face this incarnation of his sensei with the same respect one would have for any highly skilled master or teacher, rather than the reverence of a son toward his father. Besides, Splinter was no longer the head of his Raph’s family; Leo was.

The shock did come, however, when Raph first saw is brother’s still firm in the infirmary bed. Not even the night they had sent Leo back to his original dimension, his lifeblood pouring from his wounds, had he looked this lifeless. Splinter now completely forgotten, Raph and his brothers approached the bed. His breath hitching in his throat, Raph reached out and laid a shaky hand on his brother’s plastron, as did Donny; Mikey took his brother’s lax hand in his own. After taking a moment to just rejoice in the sensation of actually feeling his brother breathe, Raph leaned down by his brother’s ear and whispered, “It’s okay now, Leo. We’re here, and we’re gonna take care of ya’.”

“Yeah, bro, you just hang in there,” Mikey added as he continued to cling to his big brother’s hand. “We’re here, and we’re not leavin’ again.”

“I promise, big brother,” Donny said, “we’re going to get you back, and then we’re never letting you go again. You’re stuck with us for good.”

At last the reality of the situation hit Raph. He really was here, seeing him with his own eyes, listening to the sound of his breathing; it wasn’t a dream. As those truths sunk in, Raph laid his head on his brother’s plastron and gave in to tears of relief. He knew they still had a hard rode ahead of them to bring Leo back, but their family was together once more; there wasn’t anything they couldn’t do. Finally forcing himself to regain control, Raph stood up and wiped his eyes. Turning to Donny he asked, “Is he well enough to be moved. I mean, are his wounds healed enough?”

“They should be,” Donny replied. “But where are you planning on taking him?”

“Look around the room, bro,” Raph said softly. “This place is too cold and impersonal; Leo’s not going to get better here. He needs someplace warm, where the four of us can be together, and he can hear our voices and feel the touch of our hands. We just don’t have the room here to do what we need to do.”

Looking around the small infirmary, Donny agreed. “You’re right. Not only is the room too small, there are too many dark associations with this room. Shell, I wouldn’t want to come back here either if I were Leo.”

“So what do you need me to do,” Mikey asked, eager to be doing _something_ now that they were reunited with Leo.

“Go ask Master Splinter where we can set up a bed for Leo big enough for all four of us,” Raph told him. “Until we get Leo back on his feet, we’re going to have one continuous bunking party, because right now, more than anything, Leo needs the feel of us around him.”

“I’m on it,” Mikey said, and headed out the door. It took a few minutes, but he finally found Master Splinter staring strangely at a blank wall at the rear of the Lair. “Excuse me sensei,” he said, interrupting the rat’s musings. “We’re moving Leo out of the infirmary, and Raph says we need a room big enough for all four of us.”

Splinter gave the young turtle, who looked so amazingly like his own Michelangelo, a sad smile. “I fear I can’t help. Other than the living room, I’m not sure we have a room large enough to house all of you at once.”

Mikey frowned. “I don’t think Raph would particularly like to set up in the living room, but I guess we’ll have to make do with what we can get. It’s just gonna be important for us to stay real close to Leo until he gets better.”

“Perhaps I might offer an alternative,” Splinter told him. “You see, I had a very strange dream last night. A female, at least I believe she was female, though all I could make out was a glowing figure, led me to this wall. She drew this symbol,” Splinter took a piece of chalk and inscribed an unusual sign of what looked to Mikey like a combination of squiggly and diagonal lines on the wall, “and the next thing I knew, the wall withdrew to reveal yet another chamber in our home.” No soon had the words left Splinter’s mouth, than the wall began to slide back, much like the automated doors at the grocery store, revealing another set of chambers beyond. There, sitting in the middle of the large central room was pile of cushions and pillows, perfect for the brothers’ needs. Mikey couldn’t help a crow of delight.

“You’ve been ‘Bridged,’ sensei,” he exclaimed as he all but skipped into the room to check it out. 

“Excuse me,” Splinter said, not sure whether he should be offended or not. “I’ve been what?”

“Bridged,” Mikey said as he excitedly explored the new room. “That glowy octopus lady was the Bridger. She’s the one who sent Leo to our dimension in the first place, and she also made it so we could come here.” Finding his new surrounding to be more than adequate, Mikey could help chortling to himself, “Dude, you’d think this was cartoon or something the way that worked out. I mean, come on. What are the chances of this room even being here?”

For once, Splinter couldn’t help but agree with the younger turtle.

TMNTTMNT

Fifteen minutes later, the three newcomers were getting settled in their new living space. Leo had been moved out of the infirmary, and was comfortably ensconced on the comfortable pillowy bed in the central chamber. Situated around said chamber were four smaller rooms, each one the perfect size for a new bedroom. Each of the brothers had chosen one for his personal use, though by unstated, but mutual, agreement, the largest was left empty for Leo’s use, once he woke up.

Donny couldn’t help but stare at the unexpected suite with something between discomfort and awe.

“If we hadn’t just traveled through who know how many dimension ourselves, I’d say this was impossible,” he told his brothers after they had finished unpacking and were settling in around Leo. “Judging by the differences in the stones of these room, and those that make up the Lair, I’s we were in a completely different location, which suggests that the Bridger somehow, some way, transported an entire location here for our use, if I’ve interpreted Master Splinter’s dream correctly.”

“I don’t care how it happened,” Raph asserted. “I’m just glad we’ve got the perfect place to bring Leo back to. Let’s just hope we’re not too late.”


	20. The Missing Part of Me

The first thing the turtles did was get themselves settled on the cushions. With a little rearranging, Raph ended up bottom, pillows supporting his back, with yet another pillow in his lap. Leo was then placed stomach down on this pillow, Raph’s legs on his either side of his body to provide support. Raph’s arm was draped over Leo’s shell to keep him from rolling off the pillow. Donny and Mikey sat on either side of their older brothers, their hands in constant contact with Leo.

At first, the brothers did little more than gently touch their brother, talking softly to him the whole time. The idea was to create a soothing environment contrasting the cold, unwelcoming one in which Leo had been living for the past month. None of the younger turtles expected this to pull Leo out of his comatose state; this was just about creating what they hoped would be a familiar ambiance that might, hopefully, begin to capture the attention of their brother’s wandering spirit. The brothers had been about their gentle touch therapy for about an hour, when they felt the slightest shift in the atmosphere. While there was no physical change in Leo, the brothers knew that wherever Leo was, he was in some small way aware of the changes that had taken place around him.

Satisfied with that for the moment, the brothers once again placed Leo back on the cushions by himself, although not one of them ceased to keep in contact with him. By this time, however, it was late enough in the afternoon that three empty stomachs were complaining about the lack of sustenance.

“You two go ahead,” Mikey told his brothers. “I…I’m not ready to leave just yet.”

Rather than tease their youngest brother about his willingness to forego food, Raph and Donny just agreed to allow him the first watch while they went in search of some dinner. It was decided Donny would take over when they returned while Mikey ate, and then Raph would have the watch leading up to bedtime. In this way, each would have some much-needed time alone with Leo, while making sure the oldest turtle was never left by himself.

Once Mikey was by himself with Leo, he arranged the pillows so that he could sit with Leo’s head resting in his lap, his body perpendicular to Mikey’s. Unable to stop himself, Mikey ran a feather-light touch over his unconscious brother’s head and down his shell.

“Hey, big bro,” Mikey whispered. “It’s me, Mikey. I can’t believe it’s only been a month since we saw you last. It has felt like forever, bro. I can’t tell you how much we’ve missed you, though. I mean, we weren’t like fighting or anything, we’ve totally gotten past that thanks to you, but something was missing, dude. I mean, I haven’t pranked anyone since you left, but that’s okay since Donny hasn’t invented anything, and Raph hasn’t, well, been Raph, either. It’s like, when you left, you took the important parts of us with you. But everything’s okay now, bro, because we’re here with you now, in your dimension. Your glowy octopus lady friend brought us to your world, and we’re gonna live with you here now. But that means you’ve got to come back.” Mikey sniffed back a few tears, but several escaped anyway. “We need you Leo; I need you. You’re my hero, did I ever tell you that? Especially after everything you’ve overcome in the past year. I need you to come back so I can tell you that in person. I love you Leo, and I’m begging you; please, come home.”

Unable to say anything more, Mikey just sat holding his brother, allowing his touch to speak for him. 

TMNT

Somewhere, in the dark world between the mind and reality, Leo’s attention, for the first time in a month, wavered from his endless search as he caught the faintest glimmer of something familiar just out of reach, coming from the world behind him.

TMNTTMNT

When Donny arrived an hour and a half later, he made no mention of the dried tear stains on his younger brother’s face. Instead, he just simply helped Mikey transfer Leo to his own lap, and then sent the younger turtle off to eat his dinner. Unlike Mikey, Donny just sat holding Leo’s hand as he talked to his comatose brother.

“Hey there Leo,” Donny said softly. “You have no idea how good it is to see you again. When we sent you back that night, I wasn’t sure you’d survive. I…I just didn’t have the means to save you, and I **knew** you wouldn’t live if we tried to bring you home with us, and I couldn’t do that bro. I couldn’t bring you back to certain death, not when I knew your other brother had the means to save you. At the time, I thought I would rather know you were out there somewhere, lost to us but alive. But big bro, you ought to know, we were miserable without you. Without you, our family is missing something absolutely vital. You mean the world to me, Leo. I thought I knew how much you mean to me after we lost our Leonardo, but his disappearance was nothing next our loss of you.

I also wanted to say I’m sorry. I’m sorry I let them take you away from us again. I’m sorry I wasn’t here to watch your back when you needed me. You couldn’t have been happy here, I know that. I just wanted what I thought was best for you, and instead I feel like I’ve betrayed you. I need you to come back so I can apologize in person. But I also need you to return and bring Mikey’s laughter back, and the light in Raph’s eyes. I need you to bring the soul back to our family; we’re dying without you. But most of all, I need you to come back because I love you, and I miss you. Please, please come back to us.”

By this point Donny, like Mikey, was unable to say another word because of his tears. Instead, he sat in silence, holding his brother’s hand, and silently pleading with him to return. 

TMNT

In the darkness, Leo turned away from his journey, certain now that what he was searching for was back the way he had come. He felt a small measure of trepidation as he started down the path, for the road back was becoming difficult to see, but Leo didn’t let that deter him. His family was waiting for him, and nothing was going to stand in his way of getting back to them.

TMNTTMNT

An hour and half later, at around 8:30, Raph came to take over for his watch.

“How is he,” Raph asked his brother as they changed places.

“I’m not sure, but I think he’s improved some, even since this afternoon,” Donny said, hope curling tenaciously inside him. Raph just nodded.

“Go on and stretch your legs for a while before bed,” he told Donny. “Master Splinter told me his sons plan to stay the night at April’s, so you won’t have to worry about running into them tonight.”

“Sounds good,” Donny said, smiling slightly. “Now, why don’t you go ahead to get settled in for the night. I’ll keep Mikey entertained for an hour or so before we come to bed.”

Raph smiled his gratitude, then turned his attention back to his big brother. Lying on left side, Raph hauled Leo up against his plastron and held him tight, laying his head on top of Leo’s. Immediately, the tears began to flow.

“Hey big bro, it’s me,” he said softly through the tears. “Sorry about the waterworks, man, but I never thought I’d have the chance to see you again. It has been much, much too long. I have missed you terribly, big brother. You know that Leo shaped hole Donny told you about all those months ago? Well, I have one too, except I think you took most of me with it as well. You certainly took the best part of me.” Raph stopped, unable to continue for a moment. When he had regained control he said, “I can’t do this without you. I know you told Donny that I’m the strength of our family, but without you I have no strength myself. I can only be strong because I have you to lean on. But that’s okay, because you have me, and Donny, and Mikey to lean on, too.

Now, I know you may not want to return here, considering where we are, but we’re here now. Your real family is here for you, and we won’t be leaving this time. I really want my best friend back. I know it will be difficult, but don’t forget what I told you all those months ago: for you the hard path is the most natural. Besides, I’m right here, ready to help in whatever way I can. You’re safe now Leo; we won’t let you fall.”

With that, Raph hugged his brother tighter to his chest, and eventually faded off to sleep.

TMNT

When Raph once again became aware of his surrounding, he wasn’t in his family’s new home. Instead, he was in a very dark place, only dimly lit by a weird glow in the sky. There was nothing around him, only a pitted gravel road leading off into the distance. With a sense of foreboding, Raph took off down the road at a jog. He instinctively knew Leo was somewhere ahead of him, and he needed help.

Raph wasn’t sure how long he’d been traveling down the road, and his legs were beginning to shake, when movement off the right side of the path caught his eyes. At first, Raph wasn’t sure he was actually seeing what he thought he was seeing, but his heart told him yes, that really was Leo. The older turtle was only a few steps off the path, but he was listing to the side, and there was a glazed look in his eyes. Approaching cautiously, Raph called his brother’s name softly. It took a few tries, but eventually Leo managed to make eye contact.

“Raph, is that you,” he asked, his voice husky. Raph couldn’t hold back his smile.

“Yeah, big brother, it’s me,” he assured Leo. Leo reached out and, in a move parallel to the one Raph and made that first morning Leo had awakened in his new home, touched his younger brother’s face with a trembling hand.

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” he said in a shaky, tired voice.

“I know,” Raph said gently. “But I’m here now. I’m going to help you home.”

Leo gave Raph a stricken look. “I don’t know if I can make it,” he said. “I’ve been traveling on this road for so long, I don’t know if I have the strength to get back.”

“If you don’t, I’ll carry you,” Raph told him. “Remember, I told you I won’t let you fall?”

Leo gave an exhausted nod, and joined his brother on the road. Raph draped Leo’s arm over his shoulders and helped to take some of his exhausted sibling’s weight. He then turned them back the way he had come, and the pair set off. Content just to be together at last, neither turtle spoke. However, as the journey dragged on, Leo began to falter more and more. At last he sank to the ground, dragging Raph with him, unable to take another step.

“I can’t do it,” he tearfully told Raph. “I told you I was a failure. You just wouldn’t listen to me.” Leo was just a little shocked when Raph smacked him upside his head.

“I don’t ever want to hear you call yourself that again,” he growled. “For the last time, you are not a failure. All you are is exhausted, and it’s no wonder. Have you stopped to consider just how far you’ve come on your own? And so what if you need my help the last part of the journey? We’re family, Leo; helping each other is what we do.”

Leo looked gravely into his brother’s eyes for a long moment. At last, he reached out a hand. “Raph, I need help. Please.”

Raph grasped his brother’s hand and pulled him up and onto his back. “Whatever you need, big brother.”

Returning to their journey, Raph began to walk once more. He gradually reached the point where it was all he could do to place one foot in front of the other. He forced himself to keep moving until his body just couldn’t take anymore. With a sigh and heartfelt hope that he had traveled far enough to get them to safety, Raph collapsed, and the world around him went dark.

TMNT

Back in the real world, Raph was awakened by the movement of his brother in his embrace. Forcing his eyes open, he fond himself face-to-face with an awake and aware Leo.

“Welcome back,” he whispered as his tears began to flow once more, and he pulled his older brother and best friend into a tight hug.

“Thank you,” Leo whispered, equally emotional. “I couldn’t have done it without you and the others.”

“You’ll be alright now,” Raph told him, though it was more to reassure himself.

“I know,” Leo replied. “I’ve found the missing pat of me, and now I’m back where I belong.”


	21. Return to Consciousness

When Leo awoke the next morning, it was with a sense of peace and bliss he had not felt in a long time. Even with his eyes closed, Leo could still feel Raph’s arms wrapped tightly around him, protecting him even in sleep. Leo couldn’t begin to describe how happy and relieved he had been to see his younger brother on that dark, lonely road. Whether that meeting had really occurred on some other plain of reality, or if it was just a trick of Leo’s mind, created by his subconscious in response to his brothers’ presence, Leo wasn’t sure; he was just glad it had taken place, because he never would have made it back if it hadn’t been for his younger brother.

Unable to resist any longer, Leo opened his eyes. He was startled to find himself half lying on Raph’s plastron, his ear directly over his brother’s heart and his arm draped over his brother’s waist. Directly across from Leo was Donny, who was lying on his side cuddled up against Raph, using the older turtle’s shoulder for a pillow. Leo began to wonder where Mikey was, when a heavy weight against his shell caught his attention. Carefully raising himself up, Leo looked over his shoulder and found Mikey draped across his back, using Leo’s shell as a pillow. Putting his head back down on his brother’s chest, Leo couldn’t keep a smile off his face. He was back, and his family was together again. As Leo once again drifted back towards sleep, he made a mental note to speak to his brothers about their choice to send him back; they needed to know he didn’t forgive them for it, because he saw nothing in the situation that needed forgiving. They had acted to save his life, demonstrating their love for him in sacrificing far more than he had.

TMNTTMNT

When Leo awoke once again, he wasn’t sure how much time had passed. It was late enough that all three of his brothers were now up and awake, though they were all still clustered around him, each remaining on contact with him in one way or another. For a while, Leo was content to just lie there with his eyes closed, listening to his brothers talk softly among themselves. It seemed that strange vision last night with him and Raph _had_ occurred, for Raph was recounting it for their younger brothers.

“He really woke up,” Mikey asked, and Leo could hear the longing for reassurance in his youngest brother’s voice, even as Mikey’s hand trembled very slightly where it rested on Leo’s shell.

“He looked at me and spoke,” Raph confirmed. “He was…Leo.”

“You could have woken us up,” Donny accused, and this time Leo could hear the hurt and fear in his second youngest brother’s voice. Fortunately, Raph took no offense at Donny’s tone.

“I’m sorry, Donny, but he was only awake for just a minute or so,” Raph apologized. “There just wasn’t time to wake you up before we both fell back to sleep.”

“I know,” Donny said, voice a little more resigned. “At least on an intellectual level. On an emotional level, however, I’m jealous as hell that you’ve had the chance to talk to him. I guess Mikey and I will just have to wait until he ready to return to the land of the living once more.”

That, Leo knew, was his cue. His brothers needed him, and he needed them. It was time to be fully reunited. Opening his eyes, Leo blinked against the brightness of the room, and it took a moment to orient himself. From what he could determine, he was lying face down on a pillow in Raph’s lap, Donny and Mikey sitting on either side of him, a hand each on rubbing lightly over his shell.

“Hey, guys,” he croaked hoarsely as he tried to push himself up on weak, shaky arms. Immediately, the hand on his back stilled, and suddenly he had three pairs of hands helping him sit up. Numerous pillows and cushions were placed behind him to help him sit up, and Leo couldn’t help but be grateful for the support. No sooner had he been situated, however, then he found himself in two-way hug with Mikey and Donny. His eyes closed once more, Leo soaked up the love pouring off his brothers. Feeling their tears hit his skin, Leo just pulled his brothers even closer. Opening his own misty eyes, he looked up to meet the teary eyes of his best friend.

“It’s alright now,” he whispered softly to his brothers. “I’m back now; everything is going to be okay. You saved me; thank you. Thank you so much.”

At this, Donny pulled back slightly and gave his older brother an uncomfortable look. “But we sent you back with _them_ ,” he said guiltily. 

“No,” Leo corrected, pulling Donny back against him. “You sacrificed your own happiness and put aside your own desires to do what you thought was best for me. No one has done that on my behalf in a long time.”

“So you don’t regret that we’re now stuck here permanently,” Mike asked, his head resting against Leo’s plastron. “With your old family, I mean.”

“We’re together again,” Leo told him. “I could never regret that. As for my old family, well, we’ll figure something out.”

TMNTTMNT

Leo, still extremely weak, only stayed awake for a few moments more before drifting off to sleep again. His younger brothers took this time to eat some breakfast, since it was only seven in the morning. Showers were also on the schedule, although like the night before they did it turns so that one of them was always with Leo. They had all just regrouped in their common room, discussing whether or not to inform Master Splinter that Leo was back, when the sounds of tramping feet and loud voices reached them: the others were back.

Moving quickly, Donny slid the door between their rooms and the rest of the Lair mostly shut. It wouldn’t do to have Leo’s other brothers come tearing in here, waking Leo up out of his much-needed sleep. They would have to wait until Leo was a little more ready for visitors before they would be allowed to see him. At least that was the plan. The others had been back only a few minutes, when alarmed yelling could be heard coming from the side of the door. Leaving Mikey and Leo’s side, Raph and Donny moved to the door and slid it open just a little more so that they could hear better.

“Leo,” Donatello screamed as he tearing from the infirmary. He had gone straight there to check on his brother, only to find it empty. Raphael and Michelangelo came running to see what their usually calm brother was yelling about.

“Donatello, what it is,” Raphael panted as he ran into the room. “Is Leo…”

“He’s missing,” Donatello exclaimed. “The IV lines are still hung, but he’s not there.”

“But,” Michelangelo protested, “where could he go? I mean, there are no signs of a fight, no signs that someone forced their way into the Lair.”

“I know, but Leo’s not here,” Donatello told them. Just then, Master Splinter emerged from his room, and the three turtles descended on him like a trio of noisy locusts. The elderly rat tried to calm his sons, to explain what had happened, but for once even he was unable to get through the din they were making.

Raph looked at Donny. They hadn’t wanted to share Leo with his family just yet, but they couldn’t leave them worrying like this. Besides, with all the noise they were making, they were going to wake Leo up anyway. After a nod from Donny, Raph stepped out of the room. The other turtles were so involved with their distress, they never noticed him. Heaving a sigh, Raph raised a hand to his lips and gave a long, loud, shrill whistle. All noise came to a dead stop. The three older turtles looked at Raph, stunned to see him.

“Keep it down, you goons,” he growled. “We have Leo. And if you wake him up before Donny says it’s okay, there’ll be hell to pay, so keep it down.”

And with that, he turned and marched back into his family’s new quarters, leaving three shocked turtles, and one elated rat, watching his back.


	22. A Father's Regret

As he watched his younger double walking away, Raphael felt a flicker of anger awake. How dare this young interloper come into their home, speak to them like that, and proceed to tell _them_ what they would and would not be allowed to do in regard to _their_ brother. With a growl of pure anger, Raphael launched himself at the retreating Raph.

“Raphael,” Splinter snapped, but it was too late; Raphael had already hit the unsuspecting turtle in the back. Except, Raph turned out not to be quite to unsuspecting. Turning at the last moment, Raph was able to grab Raphael’s arm just as he hit and, using the other’s turtle’s momentum against him, threw Raphael over his shoulder. Then, much like he had that first night, Raph followed his older double to the floor and smoothly pinned him in place. Splinter regarded the younger turtle with surprised appreciation. The maneuver had been smoothly accomplished, but something about the execution thereof very much had Leo’s signature all over it. This made Splinter pause for moment. He was accustomed to dealing with Leo as his oldest son and student. However, it seemed he would have to balance their former relationship with treating Leo like a fellow teacher, for he doubted Leo’s new brothers would see _him_ as their sensei. Leo was their leader, their teacher, the head of their family.

Back where Raph had Raphael pined to the floor, the older turtle was struggling fruitlessly to escape. Raph let him fight until he realized it was doing him no good and stopped.

“Are you done,” Raph asked his roughly. When Raphael glared at him, but no move to try to escape, Raph growled, “Good. Now, get your butt over to that couch with your brothers. We have a few things to settle.”

Hauling the older Raphael to his feet, Raph roughly pushed him toward the couch. Glowering at Donatello and Michelangelo, Raph added, “You two get over here, too.” Once all three turtles were settled, albeit grudgingly, Raph stood facing them, hands on his hips. “All right, let’s get a few things straight,” he growled. “First off, I’m going to tell you this once. Donny, Mikey, and Me? We’re all here for good. We’re taking up permanent residence in this dimension, in this Lair to be precise, and there will be no getting rid of us. So my suggestion is that you three get used to the idea. 

Now, the second item on our agenda for this little meeting: Leo. Yes, he is awake. No, you may not see him yet. Reason number one, Leo needs all the rest he can get, and he won’t get it if you three are traipsing in and out. Reason number two, Leo is not ready to face you three, not just yet. Yes, we understand that he is going to have to get used to being around you again, but now is not the time. Lastly, you will stay away from Leo until we, meaning Donny and myself, have given you clearance to come in. That means you will stay out of our rooms unless otherwise invited in. You follow these guidelines, and I promise, as soon as Leo is ready, you will be allowed to see him. However, you buck me on any of these, and first I will personally kick your butts for a second time, and then my brothers and I including Leo, will be out of here and in a new home so fast your shells will turn inside out. Now, are there any questions?”

At first the three older turtles didn’t say a word. Then, gingerly, Michelangelo raised his hand. Rolling his eyes, Raph growled, though a great deal less ire than before, “Yes, what do you want?”

“Will you at least tell Leo we’re glad he’s okay,” Michelangelo asked meekly. Raph had to fight off a grin had just how much this Michelangelo sounded like his Mikey.

“Yes, Michelangelo, I will tell him,” Raph promised. Then he added, “And I promise, as soon as he is up to it, you will get the chance to see him. Just…give us a few days to help him heal a little bit more. Trust me; we’ll all be better off for it.”

TMNTTMTN

By the time Raph was able to return to his family’s new residence, Leo was once again awake and sitting up, although he was tucked close to Mikey’s side, his youngest brother’s arm wrapped around his shoulders.

“I hear you were giving my old family hell,” he told Raph with a small smile. Raph returned it full force, marveling once more at the miracle facing him.

“They were becoming a little… unruly,” Raph told him. “I was just helping to rein them in.”

“Yeah, Raph gave them the verbal bitch-slap,” Mikey crowed. “They never knew what hit ‘em.”

Donny smacked his younger brother over the head.

“What,” Mikey whined, and Donny just shook his head in disgust.

“What Raph did was simply lay down the law about what will and will not be allowed for a while,” Donny explained to Leo. “Of course, Raph being Raph, you can imagine how that scene played out.”

“Come on, I wasn’t that bad,” Raph griped, but he met his brother’s gaze with a smile. “At least I didn’t actually hurt any of them.”

This made Leo chuckle. “Ah, Raph, don’t ever change,” he said, laughing.

The brothers’ merriment was suddenly interrupted by a soft knock. The laughter stopped dead. Without opening the door, Leo knew who it was.

“It’s Master Splinter,” he told the others.

“What do you want us to do,” Donny asked after a moment of silence.

“Let him in,” Leo finally said. “Then give us a few minutes. I think it’s time my father and I had a little talk.”

TMNTTMNT

When he was admitted into the new family’s living quarters, Splinter was a bit astounded. He would not have been the least bit surprised had they chosen to ignore his knock. Instead, Donny pushed back the door just enough to admit him.

Upon entering the new addition to the Lair, the elderly rat’s attention was immediately drawn to the pale, drawn looking turtle resting in the middle of the pile of cushions and pillows. Splinter had to force back tears at seeing his oldest son alive and awake for the first time in over a year.

Noticing the emotional look on his father’s face, Leo said quietly to his brothers, “Can you guys leave us alone for a few minutes. My father and I need to talk. Maybe,” he added, “you could get me something to eat? Right now, one of Mikey’s smoothies sounds really good.”

Accepting the gentle dismissal, Raph, Donny, and Mikey silently left the room. For a long moment, teacher and student, father and son, considered each other. At last, unable to hold them back any longer, Splinter allowed the tears to come.

“Ah, my son,” he whispered as he cautiously took a seat next to Leo on the mound of cushions. “I am so, so sorry.”

“But—“ Leo started to protest, but Splinter cut him off with a soft shushing sound.

“No, my son, I owe you an apology,” Splinter said. “I have owed you an apology for a long time. You see, a large part of this false sense of failure you suffer from is my fault. I recognized early on your drive to protect to your brothers, and I pushed, too hard perhaps, to follow through on that need. It wasn’t until the past several years that I have come to recognize the burden that I had placed upon you by encouraging this behavior. It was beginning to destroy you, even if you and your brothers couldn’t see it. So, in an effort to relieve some of the burden weighing you down, I allowed your brother to take over as leader of the team, hoping this would allow you to regroup and catch your breath. My fault lies in not explaining my reasoning to you, however. Instead, I left you to feel like a failure once more.

And then, when your brothers commenced with their inappropriate behavior, I did nothing over to stop it. Yes, I disciplined them in private, but not once did I let you know that I did not approve of their actions, leaving you with the understandable belief that I did. Worst of all, I let you leave the room that night believing I, too, felt you were a disgrace to everything I know you hold dear. And my son, nothing could be further from the truth.

Leonardo, I can’t tell you how proud I am of you. There just aren’t the words available in any language to express my feelings. Time and again you have sacrificed yourself, body, mind, and soul, to look after and protect this family. You have given everything you have, and then you’ve given more. You are amazing, my son.”

“Father,” Leo said, his voice cracking as tears rolled down his face. He reached out to his sensei. In that moment he wasn’t a trained warrior, or a mentor; he was simply a son needing his father’s support. Splinter responded immediately, wrapping his arms around his son, at long last able to offer the comfort and reassurance he long desired to give. 

“I ask you to forgive a foolish old rat,” Splinter said as his son cried on his shoulder. “But more than that, I want you to know how much I love you, my son. Your honor, your bravery, your strength are beyond question or doubt. Just look at the family you have created for yourself. It took a lot of courage to reach out and try again, but you did it. Your new brothers love and adore you. I just ask, please, let me have another chance. Let me by the father and the teacher I should have been before. And maybe, if you can find it in your heart to forgive us, we, your first family, will be able to prove that we, too, love you like you deserve to be loved.”

Splinter felt a small part of his heart break when Leo didn’t say anything in response. He feared his apology had, perhaps, come too late, and that too much time and too many hard feelings were in the way. His disappointment turned to tender understanding, however, when he realized his son, this lost and prodigal child he had feared was gone for good, had fallen asleep on his shoulder, much like he had when he was just a youngling. With a small sigh of contentment, Splinter readjusted himself, content just to hold his boy until he once again awakened.

TMNTTMNT

Half an hour later, when Raph and the other returned, the pair was still in the same positions. Master Splinter, pillows supporting his back, was sound asleep, as was Leo, who had his had resting on his father’s chest, arms wrapped around his sensei like he was never going to let him go again. With shared smiles of understanding, the three younger turtles headed to their own rooms for some much-needed rest. For the moment, Leo didn’t need them. After all, he was in very good hands.


	23. Butt Kicking and Reunion

After Splinter’s reconciliation with his oldest son, things began to settle into a more regular schedule. As they had in their old home, Raph, Donny, and Mikey continued their rotating arrangement for leading morning and evening practices. Most mornings they practiced before their counterparts even awoke, leaving Master Splinter to either sit with Leo or, if Leo was still sleeping, to sit in and observe their training. On those days when Leo would have led the training, the brothers either spent the morning meditating with him in his room, or with Splinter leading the exercises. One day, when Leo had regained more of his strength and was ready to begin his rehabilitation, Donny suggested that those days could be used to help Leo with his physical therapy, until he was ready to rejoin them full-time. The idea was met with fervent accord by the others, especially Leo, and Splinter had to admire the way the little family worked together, peacefully, for the greater good of them all, without the arguing and disagreements that usually accompanied his sons in their decision making.

In spending so much time with the two families, Splinter could no help noticing both the similarities and the differences in both versions of his sons as he spent time with each group. The one turtle who seemed the least different in each dimension was Donatello. Both versions of the young genius had an innate drive to better the lives of his brothers, and neither could keep himself from tinkering around the Lair. It was no surprise to the elderly sensei that it was these two that were the first to connect beyond their preset boundaries. In fact, it became quite common for the two of them to still be working together in Donatello’s lab well into the night.

Still, there were some differences between the two. Leo’s Donny was far more attentive to his brothers than Donatello was inclined to be. Numerous times Donny would put aside whatever new gadget or invention he was working on in order to spend time with one of his brothers. He always seemed to have time for Mikey, and there was none of the friction and hesitancy between him and Raph that could be seen between Donatello and Raphael. And then there was Donny’s absolute and complete devotion to Leo. Nothing could come between Donny and his oldest brother. And Donny wasn’t afraid to defend his brother, even when Raphael was at his most vitriolic. He just calmly told the other version of his older brother where he could stuff his anger before serenely going on his way.

The next most similar turtles were, unsurprisingly, Mikey and Michelangelo. Both were the youngest of their respective families, and as such were treated to a measure of “babying,” though none of them, particular Mikey and Michelangelo, would ever call it that. Behavior that was unlikely to be tolerated in one of the older turtles, such as the pair’s obsession with comic books, was ignored in the two younger brothers. Likewise, both of the turtles had a rather immature but disarming sense of humor that often came into play as a means of defusing tense situations. Mikey, however, had an overarching measure of maturity that Splinter’s Michelangelo didn’t. That, the ninja master figured, came from having to survive a year with only his two immediate older brothers as his support, following his own father’s death and oldest brother’s disappearance. Likewise, Mikey tended to be far more empathetic than Michelangelo. His pranks, though often embarrassing for the victim, were never humiliating, and they never pushed too far. In fact, more often than not, the victim of one of Mikey’s pranks ended up laughing along with the young turtle, rather than trying to throttle him. And if he accidentally did go too far, Mikey was quick to apologize.

As for Raph and Raphael, well, these two were the most similar and the most diametrically opposite. Each one was, in his own way, fiercely loyal and protective of his family. However, how each went about demonstrating that loyalty and protection was vastly different. Raphael was far gruffer with his brothers than Raph. He also had far less patience with Michelangelo’s pranks and Donatello’s preoccupation with his inventions. Raph, on the other hand, was unafraid to demonstrate his love and affection for his brothers openly. Of course, the most common recipient of that affection was Leo, but Donny and Mikey received their fair share as well. For example, one evening Raph was visiting with Mikey in the kitchen as the younger turtle was making dinner. In the middle slicing a tomato for his homemade spaghetti sauce, Mikey’s hold on the knife slipped and he cut his hand fairly deeply. Raph was immediately at his side, helping him to wash the cut clean and wrap it tightly in a towel to help control the bleeding. Then, with a care and compassion completely alien to his counterpart, Raph had tenderly bandaged his younger brother’s wound, and then had helped finish making dinner, under Mikey’s supervision, of course.

Most telling, however, was how each group responded to Leo. The oldest turtle’s original brothers, who even after two weeks still had not been allowed to see their brother, seemed to view him with a combination of guilt, love, and, still to a small sense, bitterness. It was this last, quite apparent to Leo’s new family, that kept them out of their brothers presence. Until they were able to overcome their old feelings of resentment, Splinter knew, Leo’s new family wasn’t going to let them anywhere near their still vulnerable brother.

In contrast, it was amazing how loving and protective Leo’s new family was. Not once did Splinter hear a harsh word come from any one of Leo’s chosen brothers. Instead, they were incredibly supportive and encouraging. That didn’t mean they babied Leo; far from it. He was pushed and encouraged to regain his independence, but when his own strength failed, Leo knew he could barrow his brothers’ until he could stand on his own again.

With seven such different individuals living in one household, not including Splinter, it was inevitable that conflicts should arise. Of course there were the usual fights between Splinter’s own sons, those were a given, but clashes were not uncommon between the two sets of brothers, usually Raph and Raphael. The biggest bone of contention between the boys, not surprisingly, was the refusal by Leo’s new family to let his old one in to see him. The tension in the Lair began to build to almost intolerable levels, until Michelangelo, quite by accident, created the first breakthrough.

The incident occurred about three weeks after Leo’s awakening. Raphael, tired of not being allowed to see his brother, had tried to sneak into the new family’s living space, only to be caught by Donny. Without question or thought, the younger turtle thumped Raphael over the shell with his bo staff.

“I thought Raph told you to stay out of there,” he told the red-masked turtle. “Leo is not ready to see you yet.”

“Who asked you,” Raphael growled as he turned on the intervening turtle. “Why should I have to listen to any of you? Last I looked, you were the guests in _our_ home. I think that gives me a little more say in what takes place here.”

Donny just snorted. “I’d say that as one of the ones who pulled Leo out of his coma, that we have a stronger claim.”

“Well last I looked, it was Donatello and Michelangelo that kept Leo from dying in the first place,” Raph countered hotly.

“If it hadn’t been for you and your meddlesome brothers, Leo wouldn’t have been shot in the first place,” Donny said, beginning to lose his own cool. “Oh, and let’s not forget that if you and the others hadn’t treated Leo like crap to begin with, he never would have felt the need to **kill himself** , which is what led him to the _safety_ of our home. You and your ‘brothers’ have only ever hurt Leo. Why should we give you another chance to hurt him again?”

By this time, Donatello, Michelangelo, and Raph had come to see what all the yelling was about, especially since it was very uncommon to hear Donny raise his voice.

“Are you so sure you’re protecting _Leo_ ,” Raphael asked snidely, ignoring their audience. “I think you and your brothers get off on the power rush of running Leo’s life. Either that, or my brother is a bigger coward than I thought.”

At that, Donatello’s eyes narrowed in rage. But rather than yell back, and thus giving Raphael what he wanted, Donny just quietly said, “If you believe that, then I have nothing else to say to you, because for someone who claims to love my big brother, you sure don’t act like it.” And with that, the younger turtle turned and disappeared into his family’s living room without another word.

Across the room, Raph was getting ready to tear into his alternate self, when someone beat him to it.

“Raphael, how could you,” Michelangelo asked his older brother, horrified. “Donny’s right. Not to mention that was absolutely one of the worst things I have ever heard you say. You know Leo’s not a coward. And right now, I’m beginning to understand why his new family isn’t letting us in to see him. If you can really still be that cruel about Leo, even after almost losing him for good twice, then no, you shouldn’t be allowed to see him yet. And if Donatello and I just stand by and let you get away with it, we don’t deserve to see him either.”

Raphael just stared at his youngest brother in surprise for a long moment before stalking off, murmuring “Whatever, you little traitor,” as he went. Donatello likewise gave his younger brother a thoughtful look before excusing himself from the room. Michelangelo was left to stare despondently at the door separating him from his oldest brother. He was so deeply lost in thought, that he literally jumped when Raph said, “Hey kid. Nice little speech there.”

“Who are you calling kid,” Michelangelo shot back, his mood lifting slightly at Raph’s compliment. “Technically, I’m older than you. Besides, I’m not sure it did any good. I don’t think Raphael was listening.”

“You may have been born before me,” Raph conceded, “but you’re still Michelangelo, and that by definition makes you younger than me. As for your brothers not listening, I think Donatello was. And even if he wasn’t, I was. And you know what, I think you’ve finally figured it out. So, what do you say we go pay Leo a little visit? I think _our_ big brother would enjoy a visit from his little brother.”

TMNTTMNT

Following Rap into his family’s common room, Michelangelo felt a little out of place. His discomfort increased when he came face-to-face with Mikey and the still agitated Donny.

“Yo, dude,” Mikey asked Raph. “What’s he doing here?”

“Chill, bro,” Raph said easily, a smile crossing his face. “He’s cool. He just delivered a verbal but-kicking to Raphael worthy of yours truly. I think he’s learned his lesson; he’s ready to see Leo. Trust me, he won’t hurt him.”

Mikey got right up in Michelangelo’s face and stared him in the eyes for a long moment. Then he gave his double a goofy grin. “Welcome, dude. Leo’s room is right through there.” He pointed to a door to his left. And with that, Mikey, Donny and Raph settled themselves on the couch, leaving Michelangelo to make his own way into his older brother’s room. After a few calming breaths, Michelangelo made his way over to the closed doorway. Taking his courage in hand, the orange-masked turtle knocked.

“Come in,” Leo called, and Michelangelo gently pushed the door open. As silently as possible, the younger turtle entered the room and closed the door behind him. Michelangelo felt his breath catch in this throat at his first look at his brother awake in over two months.

To Leo’s credit, he didn’t even flinch when he saw just who his visitor was. Instead, he just smiled gently at his younger brother. “Come on in, bro,” he said, patting the bed next him. “I’m not going to bite.”

Michelangelo swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the knot in his throat. “Leo,” he croaked, his feet moving across the room of their own accord. The next thing he knew, he was sitting on the bed, his arms wrapped tightly around his brother, tears pouring from his eyes.

“Shh, Michelangelo, it’s okay,” Leo crooned in his brother’s ear as he held him.

“But it’s not,” Michelangelo sobbed. “I…I was horrible to you. I didn’t mean it. I…”

“Mike,” Leo interrupted, shortening his brother’s name for the first time in a long time. “I understand. I don’t know how, but I heard what you said when I was in that coma, and you apologized then. The only reason my brothers have kept you away until now was to make sure the lesson had stuck. Since you’re here, I guess we can say it has.”

“Can you ever forgive me, though,” Michelangelo asked.

“I already have,” Leo told him, and Michelangelo’s eyes overflowed with tears once more. 

Hugging his big brother tightly, Michelangelo whispered. “Good, because I’ve missed you, bro. I’ve missed you so much.”

“Me too, Mike,” Leo replied, returning the embrace. “Me too.”


	24. Bleak Thoughts and Regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another rather saccharine chapter. Please excuse the tooth-rotting level of fluff. My younger self was obviously an addict.

In the days following Michelangelo’s outburst to Raphael, Donatello found himself spending more and more time locked in his lab, his mind in turmoil. No matter what he did, he couldn’t get his younger brother’s voice out of his head. “And if Donatello and I just stand by and let you get away with it, we don’t deserve to see him either,” Mikey had told Raphael after the older turtle had made a truly callous remark about their brother. That had stuck with the turtle genius. For once, he thought, Michelangelo was correct. He at least did not deserve to claim Leo as his brother. Whereas Michelangelo had owned up to and was trying to make up for his past wrongs, Donatello couldn’t say that he had. Yes, he had tried to apologize to his brother while Leo was unconscious, but all he had been thinking of since Leo’s awakening had been himself. He was only interested in making himself feel better, in relieving his own guilt. Not once had he stopped to consider how Leo would feel.

As the days passed, Donatello couldn’t help torturing himself with all the wrongs he had perpetrated against his older brother, many of which he was still doing. Largely, Donatello was not fighting for his brother like he should. It was far easier to let Raphael mouth off uncontested than to stand up for the absent Leo. After all, that was just Raphael’s way of blowing off steam and alleviating his worry, and it wasn’t like Leo was around to hear what he had to say. At least, that had been Donatello’s way of thinking until Michelangelo had found the courage to tell Raphael off, and in so doing had won the right to actually visit Leo in the safety of his new family’s den. Seeing the glow on his younger brother’s face after seeing Leo had made Donatello physically ill with jealousy and self-disgust.

Donatello couldn’t figure out what was wrong with himself. After all, it wasn’t like he hated his brother; far from it. Like Michelangelo, he had adored Leo from the time they were little and Leo had bravely been the first to try out his new legs. So why couldn’t he demonstrate his feelings openly? Why was it so hard to just say those few little words that meant so much?

Three days into Donatello’s self-imposed isolation, his private little kingdom was invaded by none other than Leo’s new genius brother. Donny gave his counterpart a gentle, concerned look as he made his way through the detritus of half-completed machinery and equipment.

“Hey, how’s it going,” he asked softly as he took a seat next to Donatello. “We haven’t seen you in a while, and Michelangelo was getting concerned.”

Donatello started to snap that it wasn’t any of the other turtle’s business, but something made him stop. After all, if there was anyone who could help him gain a better understanding of himself and his faults, it would be the double looking at him.

“Bleak thoughts,” Donatello told him. “I’ve been trying to figure out where I went wrong in my relationship with Leo, and I can’t figure it out. I mean, it’s not like I hate my big brother. I love him; I know I do. But somewhere between acknowledging that and expressing it, something misfires or there’s a disconnect, and what I intend to express doesn’t come across. Instead, I end up ignoring my brother’s needs, or I fail to defend him when he needs it. For the life of me, I can’t figure out what’s wrong.”

Donny gave his older self a look of complete understanding. “It’s hard to express yourself to your hero, isn’t it,” he said. “Especially when you’re not sure you quite measure up next to him.”

“I…?” Donatello was at a loss for words. Donny had summed it up perfectly. “How did you know,” he finally squeaked out.

“I once was where you are now,” Donny told him. “I saw in Leo everything I thought my father wanted from me. After all, my Leo was an amazing ninja, the ideal son, and a wonderful leader. Then there was me. I was a mediocre, in my eyes, ninja who liked to tinker with electronics. As a result, I began to withdraw from my family, but Leo saw what I was doing, and stopped me. In his own way, he expressed how much he admired my skill with electronics. He told me I didn’t have to be the ninja he was, because my talents were in something else, but that if I wanted he would work with me to improve on my fighting skills. After that, it became far easier for me to express my love and admiration for him, too, because I knew he felt the same way.

Then, when our second Leo joined us, lost and broken as he was, I was able to turn the lesson I’d learned from _my_ Leo around and apply it to him. If it hadn’t been for my first brother, I would never have known how to help Leo.”

“But all my terrible behavior towards Leo,” Donatello protested.

“All symptoms of the disease,” Donny told him. “Consider it. When you didn’t help Leo with that shoulder wound, was it because you enjoyed seeing him in pain, or because it helped you remember that he was mortal, too, and still needed you in some way? And when Raph gets nasty? I doubt you agree with what he says, but it makes Leo seem on a more even level, and thus more approachable. Does that sound about right?”

Donatello could only nod. “So what do I do,” he whispered.

“Come with me,” Donny told him. “You need to go see Leo and explain to him exactly what you’re feeling. Then you listen, and I mean really listen, as he tells you how much he admires you. You see, Leo has so much love to give that it hurts him when he can’t share it like he wishes he could. Then, when Leo is done, and after you’ve both cried and said that you’re sorry, you move forward, remembering that you don’t have to live up to Leo’s level. As far as he’s concerned, he has to live up to yours. From there on out it’s easy, because you’re both so busy lifting the other up that you don’t have time for self-doubt.”

“All right,” Donatello said. “Let’s do this, before I lose my nerve.”

TMNTTMNT

Donatello was thankful that there was no one else around when he and Donny entered the small common room. Sticking close to Donny’s heels, Donatello followed him into across the open space and into a spacious bedroom. Leo was sitting back on the bed, his nose buried in a book. Donatello was surprised to see it was the most recent Harry Potter book.

“Hey bro,” Donny said, pulling Leo’s attention from the large tome. “Look who’s here to see you.”

Leo looked up and, though his eyes remained slightly shadowed, smiled at Donatello. “Hi,” he said, warmly.

“Well, I’ll leave you two to your visit,” Donny said, turning to leave. Donatello gave him a panicked look, but Donny just told him, “Remember what I told you. I’ve already given you the script, you just have to follow through on the performance. And trust me; you don’t need an understudy around for that.”

With that, he was gone, and Donatello was left alone with his older brother for the first time since in months. Sensing his younger brother’s discomfort, Leo said, “Why don’t you come sit down? Whatever you have to say, it will be far more comfortable for both of us if you’re sitting.”

Perching on the edge of the bed, Donatello cleared his throat. “I, uh, I have a couple of things I need to talk to you about,” he said hoarsely. “It has to do with the way I treated you, before I mean. And, I guess, with my attitude since you woke up.”

“Okay,” Leo said, his eyes showing his hesitation to discuss the topic. Seeing that actually gave Donatello the courage to continue.

“The first thing I have to say is, it was never your fault,” he started. “The way I treated you, or rather ignored you, and the way I let Raphael walk all over you? It was never about you; it was all about me and my fears. You see, you have always amazed me. You always seemed too good at everything, from being the perfect son, to being the superb ninja. Somewhere along the way I started comparing myself to you, and I found myself falling short. So, I began to look for ways to…even the playing field I guess you could say. I mean, if you were hurt, and needed my help, then it meant you were mortal, too. And when Raphael would say those horrible things, it made it easier to see that…that you had faults, just like me. In any case, it soon got to the point where the flaws were all I saw, and I forgot the wonderful brother behind them.”

“Ah, Donatello,” Leo said, drawing his younger brother into an embrace. “I wish you could see yourself the way I do. Your brilliance astounds me. How you keep all that information in your head at once, and the way you can extract exactly what we need when we need it leaves me dumbfounded. Not to mention being able to do it under pressure. I have always admired what you do. We would not have the quality of life we enjoy without you. Not only that, but you have forced yourself to become our doctor and surgeon. You have saved our lives so many times in so many different ways. And who cares if you’re not the world’s best ninja; that’s not where your talents lie, and that’s okay. The world can do without one more super ninja; super geniuses, well, that’s another story. I love you, bro. I hope you understand that.”

Then, just as Donny had predicted, Donatello burst into tears. Smiling softly, Leo just held him closer.

“I’m so sorry,” Donatello told his brother through his tears. “I’m sorry I was such an ass.”

“I’m sorry too,” Leo told him. “I’m sorry you didn’t know how much I appreciate everything you do.”

“Well I do now,” Donatello said. “We’ll just remember from now on. And if either of us forgets, then the other one will be there to remind him.”

“Sounds good, little brother,” Leo said softly. “Sounds good.”

TMNTTMNT

Donatello emerged a while later, feeling more at peace. He and Leo had talked their fears and feelings through for a while longer, before Leo had fallen asleep once more. Now Donatello had one more mission he needed to accomplish. Fortunately, his target was seated within easy reach on the couch.

Donny couldn’t have been more surprised when his older counterpart sat down next to him and hugged him.

“Thank you” Donatello told him as he embraced the younger turtle. Donny didn’t have to ask what the thanks were for; he’d been there not all that long ago.

“You’re welcome,” he told the older turtle. “Just don’t let it slip away from you again. It’ll just make both of you miserable.”

“I won’t,” Donatello swore. “Of course, if I start slipping, I expect you to thump me over the head again.”

“You got it,” Donny answered with a smile. “After all, what are brothers for?”


	25. Brothers and Regrets

Finally, three months after waking up, Leo was allowed to begin a more normal routine. Both Donny and Donatello kept a close eye on him to make sure he didn’t cause himself to have a set-back, and Raph, Mikey, and Michelangelo stuck close, just in case. But, over all, the family had settled into a harmonious existence. Well, everyone except Raphael, that is. Unlike his younger brothers, the family’s second oldest still had not made his peace with his older brother. True, he no longer made disparaging remarks to or about Leo, thanks in large part to Michelangelo’s little tirade a few months before, but then, Raphael spent very little time in the Lair anymore anyway.

Leo tried to pretend it didn’t bother him that he and Raphael were still at odds, but it was obvious that it did. Yet no one seemed able to get through to Raphael; not that Donatello, Michelangelo, and even Master Splinter hadn’t tried. Raphael had a number of responses to these talks, depending on who was doing the talking. He either changed the topic (Donatello), became downright antagonistic (Michelangelo), or just didn’t respond at all (Splinter). As for the rest of his “extended family,” he just acted as if they didn’t exist.

Things came to a head one Friday night. As had become tradition, now that Leo was mobile but still confined to the Lair, the whole family had settled in the living room for a movie marathon; everyone except Raphael, of course. The stubborn turtle had given his family a derisive look before disappearing out the door without a word. Mikey, who had been facing Leo when Raphael departed, was the only one to see the sad, defeated look cross his brother’s face. That look alarmed Mikey a great deal; that wasn’t a look you were supposed to see on Leo’s face.

Moving to sit next to his big brother, Mikey whispered, “Hey, bro, you okay?”

To Mikey’s surprise, Leo actually answered truthfully. “I don’t think so, Mikey. I mean, what do I have to do to make Raphael forgive me?”

“It’s not your fault,” Mikey tried to reassure him, but Leo just sighed despondently.

“I’m not so sure about that,” Leo said. “Sometimes I think Raphael would have been happier if I hadn’t recovered.”

The response, and the defeatist attitude fueling, angered Mikey. Grabbing his brother by the shoulders, he gave him a little shake. “Don’t you dare say things like that,” he hissed. “Even if Raphael is too blind to see how much he needs you, the rest of us aren’t. Do you want to leave us behind again?”

“No,” Leo said quietly. “It just hurts.”

“I know, bro,” Mikey replied. “Just…have a little more patience. Raphael is sure to come around some time.” _He’d better,_ Mikey thought to himself. _Or else, everything we’ve done will have been for nothing._ After giving his brother another hug, Mikey got to his feet. As he moved away from the television, Raph and Donny gave him a questioning look. They had noticed the seemingly intense conversation taking place between the oldest and youngest turtle, but had known better than to interfere. Giving them a shake of his head, Mikey moved silently toward the exit. He had a good idea where Raphael was, and he was determined to have a word with the older turtle. Mikey wasn’t sure if Raphael would listen, or even if talking would do any good, but he had to try, for Leo’s sake.

After a fifteen-minute jaunt through the sewers and a five minute run across the rooftops, Mikey reached the rooftop of the old hotel that was one of Raphael’s favorite thinking places. Sure enough, the other turtle was sitting at the edge of the building, staring off across the cityscape.

“Go away,” Raphael growled as Mikey approached.

“No way, dude,” Mikey replied. “We need to talk.”

“Don’t think so,” Raphael replied, climbing to his feet. His body language, with his hands fingering his sais, revealed just how tense and on edge he was. Mikey, in contrast, was calm and collected, his hands well away from his own weapons. The look on his face was one of concern, his empathy for the older turtle making it impossible for him to react to the anger.

“Why are you doing this to yourself,” he asked Raphael softly. “You’re hurting yourself, your family, and especially Leo. Do you really hate him that much?” Mikey wasn’t sure if Raphael would actually answer the question. But instead of storming off in anger, Raphael just glared at Mikey.

“Do you know how sickening I found your family,” he said. “You and your brothers are such a bunch of goody-two-shoes; you’re almost too good to be real. You appear uninvited out of nowhere, in our world, in my home, and proceed to pass judgment on something you know nothing about.”

“Try me,” Mikey challenged, though his voice remained soft.

“Fine,” Raphael snarled. “How about this: no, I don’t hate Leo. I’ve never hated Leo. I was jealous as hell, yes, but I didn’t hate him. I mean, next to Leo, I shone about as brightly as a glow-in-the-dark sticker at noon. It always seemed I was in his shadow. Nearly everything we learned, Leo learned it faster and better than the rest of us. My whole life all it seemed I ever heard was ‘Leo this’ and ‘Leo that,’ and ‘Leo did some other damn thing.’ Even worse, it always seemed that all anyone ever saw, at least in the light of Leo’s ‘magnificence,’ were my faults. I was never good enough, not compared to Leo. And then, Leo was removed from his position as team leader, and I was finally given a chance to shine. But in a way, that made things worse. I mean, after walking just a few weeks in Leo’s shoes, I began to see just how good he was at what he had taken upon himself as his role in the family, and just how truly lacking I was. So I…I turned on him. I did everything I could to cut him down, to tear him apart. Unfortunately, it was the one thing I proved all too adept at. I knew I was hurting him, but I couldn’t stop myself. I finally realized I had gone too far that night Michelangelo got hurt, and I said that horrible thing about Leo, but I was too late. I walked in to find my brother, the brother I had idolized since I was a hatchling, take his final breath as the strangled to death, from the rope he had tied around his own neck. What was worse to seeing him not fighting the rope that was slowly strangling him; it was killing him slowly, and he wasn’t even fighting it. Can you understand the guilt I felt after he was gone? Leo didn’t kill himself that night; I did.

And then we came through the weird dimensional portal to find Leo was still alive, but he was absolutely terrified of us. Not only that, but he had found a family that took better care of him than we did, and he was only technically related to them. When we brought Leo back here to save his life, I was certain I would have chance to prove myself once more to my brother, but I failed yet again, and you guys had to come and save the day once more. After that, it was like, what’s the point? Leo doesn’t need me; he never did. Besides, the only thing I’ve ever brought him was pain. So there, Mr. ‘Know-it-all,’ go ahead and judge me,” Raph challenged.

Mikey could only shake his head a look of seemed like, at least to Raphael, fond exasperation on his face. “You just don’t get it, dude,” he said. “What you see as us being ‘too-good-to-be-true’ is the result of a lot of years and hard learned lessons. And if you think we don’t understand the guilt, guess again; especially Raph.”

“Uh-huh,” Raphael scoffed. “That brother of yours is so in tight with Leo, you’d think they were conjoined twins or something.”

Mikey was shaking his head again. “You’re just seeing the surface again,” he said. “Not the reasoning behind it. In fact, I think you really should talk to him. I think Raph could give you some insight on this whole thing.”

“Yeah, right,” Raphael scoffed again. “In case you haven’t notice, your brother and I don’t exactly get along. I don’t think the two of us having a heart to heart is going to happen in the near future.”

This time Mikey gave Raphael an exasperated look. “Haven’t you figured out by now that Raph only wants the best for Leo,” he asked, soundly slightly aggrieved. 

“So?”

“So, getting you and Leo reconciled to definitely in Leo’s best interest,” Mikey responded.

Raphael was silent for a moment. “Getting us ‘reconciled,’ huh? You’ve been spending way too much time with the Geek twins,” he teased, a first for them both. “But you’ve got a point. All right, if ‘Dudley Do-Right’ is willing, I’ll talk. But if he starts with the superior attitude…”

“Cool,” Mikey exclaimed. “Stay here, I’ll be back with Raph as soon as I can.”

TMNTTMNT

It took an hour for Mikey to get home, explain where he’d been, convince Raph to come with him, and for the pair to make the return trip. They arrived to find Raphael in much the same position he’d been in when Mikey had hunted him down earlier.

“All right, Mikey said you agreed to talk to me,” Raph told his double. His tone was brusk, but not challenging.

Raphael, although bristling, gave his younger self a rundown of what he’d told Mikey earlier. He ended by say, “The knucklehead over there said you might have some ‘insight’ or something that might help.” He folded his arms defensively over his plastron and glared at Raph. Unconsciously, Raph mirrored the stance and the glare. The sight made Mikey crack up.

“You two ought to see each other,” he cackled. “It’s no wonder you don’t get along; you’re too much alike..”

The two turtles looked at the giggling turtle with identical looks of annoyance. When they realized they’d done it again, they couldn’t fight the smiles that threatened to overtake them. Pretty soon, they had joined Mikey in his amusement.

“All right, all right,” Raph said, once they had each regained some measure of control. “Why don’t we have a seat, and I’ll tell you a little story about me and my big brother.”

The three turtles settled themselves on the cool concrete, and Raph said, “My relationship with my older brother hasn’t always been the best. In fact, when we were younger, back before our Leo disappeared, he and I got along a lot like you and your Leo. I was always challenging him: his authority, his rules, whatever I could think of. Let me tell you, we had some pretty intense arguments. Then one night we had a worse fight than usual. I told my brother I hated him and that I wished I never had to see him again. I can still remember the look of hurt and horror on his face as that filth came spewing out. Rather than retaliate, though, he just turned and left without another word. As soon as I said the words, I regretted them, but I had too much pride to chase Leo down and apologize. I decided instead to wait until he came home, and then I’d seek him out. Except, Leo never came home. Out alone like he was, he was an easy target for the Foot, and they kidnapped him. I never saw him alive again, just the badly mutilated corpse that the Shredder had left behind after he was done torturing him.

You asked if I can understand the guilt you’ve been feeling. Trust me, I can. Before finding my brother’s body, I made the vow that if we got Leo back, I would treat him like he deserved to be treated. After all, despite the fighting and the jealousy, Leo was my best friend. And then I found his remains, and I thought the agony was going to kill me. I had lost my chance to say I was sorry, and my brother died with the last words between us being ‘I hate you.’ I have never hated myself more than I did at that moment. So when your Leo came to us, hurting and so badly in need of care, I promised myself that I would take care of him. I had learned my lesson, and had been given a second chance. The question now is, have you learned your lesson, or are you going to squander the miracle you’ve been given?”

Raphael looked his double square in the eyes. He saw in the depths of those dark eyes, twin to his own, the truth of what the other turtle had told him. At last, he dropped his gaze. “I…I need a while to think,” he told them. Before they could feel their hopes drop once more, though, he added, “But please ask Leo if he would mind waiting up for me. It’s time we talked.”

TMNTTMNT

It was well past midnight when Raphael finally returned to the Lair. It had taken more time than he’d anticipated to build up the courage to face his older brother. When he arrived, all the lights were out, and he was afraid that Leo had tired of waiting and had retired to bed. But no, there Leo was, dozing on the couch, an afghan tucked around him. For a long moment, Raphael just studied his sleeping brother. The hardship of the last few months could be read in the lines inscribed on his brother’s brow; lines of pain and unresolved tension. Raphael felt new guilt stirring within; a good number of those lines were his fault.

Raphael had almost convinced himself to leave his brother alone, since he was sleeping so peacefully, when Leo opened his eyes and met his brother’s gaze.

“Hey,” he whispered.

“Hey,” Raph replied dumbly.

‘I didn’t think you were coming back tonight,” Leo said as he struggled to sit up. Raphael reached out to help untangle the blanket wrapped around his brother. Leo tensed up slightly at the contact, but he let Raphael assist him.

“Yeah, well, I needed some time to gather my courage,” Raphael admitted, taking a seat next to Leo on the couch.

“I didn’t realize I was that difficult to talk to,” Leo said, discomfort coloring his voice.

“I wasn’t afraid of you,” Raphael told him. “I was afraid of what I would have to tell you.” This time it was Raphael’s turn to jump as Leo placed a soothing hand on his shoulder.

“Surely it’s not that bad,” he said gently. At the tender tone, Raphael felt his eyes well up with tears.

“You have no idea,” he whispered. “I’ve been a horrible brother.”

“But I,” Leo started, but Raphael cut him off.

“It’s not you,” he said hoarsely. “It was never you. I never hated you, Leo. I was jealous, yes, but mostly I hated myself. I hated that I could never match up to you and the standard you set. I hated how weak and second rate I looked next you. I was jealous of how our father seemed to value you more than the rest of us, and in my jealousy, I lost sight of how everything was affecting you.”

“But you were right,” Leo protested. “I was a failure. Nearly got us all killed, and I nearly killed Michelangelo myself.”

“Oh, Leo, I never meant it,” Raphael said, the tears finally freed to run down his face. “I can’t express how sorry I am for being so stupid and saying such cruel things. Leo, it was never your fault that we got our shells kicked that night. As I recall, you tried to warn us about rushing in, but Michelangelo and I wouldn’t listen. We dragged us into that situation, and if it hadn’t been for you, we probably would have gotten ourselves killed. As for hurting Michelangelo, that was my fault, too. I knew you weren’t at a hundred percent that night, but rather than back off like you would have done, I dove in head first. You were doing your best to look after us, even hurt as you were. What happened was just bad luck.”

“Then why did you say it,” Leo asked, confused. 

“Because…no, I don’t have an excuse,” Raphael responded. “I guess part of me wanted to bring you down to my level. You had always been too far above us, so seemingly out of reach, that all I could think about was knocking you down a peg or two. I never, ever meant to…to hurt you like I did, but I just couldn’t seem to stop myself.”

The two turtles sat in contemplative silence for a long moment. Then Raphael said, “I know I don’t deserve it, but I’m begging your forgiveness. I told you this when you were in that coma, but I’ll repeat it. What I did to you goes beyond the ability of ‘sorry’ to fix it. I have never been so ashamed of myself in my entire life. I know I have said and done some really, really stupid, horrible things, and I don’t know if you can, or are willing to forgive me, but I’m hoping that maybe you’ll give me second chance.”

Raphael turned pleading eyes on his big brother. Leo considered him for a moment before responding. “I don’t know if I can trust you again,” he said. Raphael felt like his heart was being shredded, and he dropped his gaze to the floor. “But,” Leo continued, “I’m willing to give it a try.”

Raphael couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Lifting tear-filled eyes, he met his brother’s loving look.

“I’ve missed you,” Leo told him, tears similarly filling his eyes. “I didn’t feel whole without you as part of my family.”

“I’ve missed you too,” Raphael croaked. “I promise, you’ll never regret letting me back in. I love you, Leo.” The last four words were hard to say, but merely from disuse. Raphael had grown accustomed to hearing the words passed around since the family’s three newest members had come into their home, so saying them to his big brother wasn’t nearly as difficult to speak as he thought they would be. The warmth that filled him as Leo whole-heartedly returned the sentiment made Raphael think that, maybe, he could get used to saying them a little more often. Besides, if his bratty double could be more open about his affection for his brothers, then so could Raphael.

With a sigh of contentment, Leo hugged his brother. Raphael returned the embrace unreservedly. Tucking his brother under his chin as he had seen Raph do on numerous past occasions, Raphael luxuriated in feeling his brother’s warmth snuggled up against him once more. In not time at all, the brothers were sound asleep, and true peace finally settled over the home.


	26. Epilogue: For Now

No one made mention the next morning about finding Leo and Raphael snuggled up on the couch together. They were all just too happy that the brothers had finally reconciled. Perhaps the happiest of, though, was Leo himself. After a long, hard haul over the past several years, he had finally found peace. He and his original family were finally back on track. He and Raphael had started rebuilding the brotherly relationship they had misplaced somewhere between childhood and adolescents. Donatello had become one of Leo’s greatest supporters, and Mikey was once again the loving, adoring baby brother from years past. But on top of that, Leo had found a second family that, if anything, loved him even more than his first one. Raph, Donny, and Mikey were all like parts of himself he hadn’t even known were missing until he’d found them.

True, things didn’t always go smoothly. They were seven teenagers living in one household; fifteen minutes of peace was a miracle. But they were working things out. Besides, they were a family, a blended, odd conglomerate of widely different individuals, yes, but a family nonetheless. And for _now_ , that was enough for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a very short chapter to end this story. The next in the series, Linchpin, has been edited, and I will start getting it posted here soon.


End file.
